The World is Never Fair

It's been a very heavy week for me. My boss pulled me aside and talked about the re-alignment that the office is secretly doing. And the bad news was that two of my co-workers (whose level is below me) won't make it.
Now, my boss revealed that another project deal was in the making and most likely, he could save one of them. But he couldn't save both.

I put on my best poker face. Or should I say, I tried my best not to hyperventilate and pass out, because one of them is a friend of mine. I recommended him this job and he's not even there for two months just yet. And he's about to be let go within a month.
So, I breathed in and out like a fish out in the air and did my best to listen to my boss laying out the delicate situation that we're in at the moment.
I only caught a bit more than half of the whole situation. too bad I couldn't say "Encore, please?"

Then came his question: "Who should I save?"
I looked at my boss like an idiot. Is he asking me?
Quick! Quick!
Think of something!
I've got to act like I'm being objective but 'leaning' enough to my friend so my boss would think that he should choose him.
Uhm,...
Damn it! Say something!
Then, the other co-worker's face came flashing in my mind and I remembered that she just bought herself a house and borrowed money from the bank.
Arrghhh...

But still, if I had to choose, I'd choose my friend. He's a dear dear friend, the kind of friend who's been saving my ass over the years. He (along with my roommate) were the first persons that I saw in the airport when I first got here. He's been lifting my stuff, boxes, furniture, and God-knows-what-else everytime I decided to move from apartment to apartment. He'd stay up late to help me do those sucky programming homeworks. And if I list of of the other favor he's done for me, then this blog can be a very long one.

Yeah,.. I owe him that much, and even more.

So I took a deep breath and started to voice my opinion on both of them and who I think should be saved.
I feel crappy, and I feel bad, but the world is never fair and if I can save only one, then my friend's hand is the one I'd grab.

Arghhhh...
So many things I want so say in this blog,... yet! I'm always sleepy these days. After I came back here, I just don't understand why I would feel tired at 9-10 pm and wake up at 7 in the morning.
That's about 10-9 hours!
You know what they say: the older you get, the more sleep you need. But I thought that saying is only for the elderly.
That's it!
I know.
I'm going down the hill.
I'm old. I should start referring guys as 'young men' and ask them to help me go across the street.
Sigh...
And I found a few fine lines right below my eyes. On the outer rings of my eyes.
I got so worried that I got all my moisturizers out and applied them really generously.
I have back pain too.
I'm forgetful too.
Wait,... nah.. I've always been forgetful.
Just like my boyfriend. We're a great match, nobody remembers things or appointments or where we put our stuff.
Should be interesting to see what'll happen if one day we get married and live in the same house.
Anyway, I'm out. This is midnight and I can't even remember my name anymore.

Okay, since I have sorted out my sleeping schedule, and working schedule and eating schedule, it's time to look back and say "What the hell happened on that trip?!!".

The last memory of the whole thing was my boyfriend loading my luggage into his car and I just sat in the front seat, all tired, with sore throat, no make-up, messy hair, smelling like stinky gym shoes.

So,... as far as memory goes, here's Jakarta in a nutshell:
It's humid. My hair was big and frizzy there.
I kept my promise not to read the newspaper and I literally pointed that out to my dad,... but somehow, he always tried to fill me in on the day-by-day chaos that's going on there. That tofu is full of formalin, and so is anchovies. damn it! I rather not know that because anchovies is one of the delicious delicacy food in my life.
Not to mention all the sad economical & political situation.

The tv shows there sucks!
SUCKS big time!
I call all them as the country's intelligence degrading process. For all we know, the next generation of women there will long to find handsome gorgeous husbands who're crazy about them, have tons of money and they will live happily ever after, doing nothing but raising child after child, spending time going to hair saloon and malls and buy expensive useless things and watch Korean/Taiwan dramas every evening.
Ugh. Sigh... please pardon my cynicism. Can't help it.

I went to MANGO sale and found nothing there. I can't see what the fuss is all about. People were so ready to line up and spent their money for things that in my opinion were so not worth the price. There's, however, a gorgeous green dress that I tried but it is so low cut at the front that my bra is even higher than the dress itself.
I wasted my precious time in MANGO. I'm not going there again.

Okay, now, I can really go on and on AND ON, about the baaaaad things going on there, but I'm going to move on to the good stuff.
Indonesian food is da bomb! Ups... shouldn't say 'bomb' in a sentence together with the word 'Indonesia'. Delicate topic. But, I had maybe the best meals in such a long time. Nothing compared to them, especially not burgers. Huh! And I can't belieeeeve I bought pretty sandals in Bali for only 4 bucks. They might as well give them to me for free.
The weather is nice, polluted, but nice. Humid, but still nice.
And Bali is still gorgeous as ever & I went back here telling my boyfriend that we should go there the next time we go back home.
I have become a sentimental fool there, I make sure I played with my nephews, even though they are really testing my patience at times, so they'll have memory of me. And I' wont' be this aunt who's never been around.
I took lots of pictures, I saw my parents were growing old and the fact created pain in my chest. Though they are well, I think I need to rearrange my future plans or one day, I might regret that I don't.
And related to this, I promised myself to go home more often, every year if I have to. Be it I hate flying, be it I don't like Jakarta, but seeing the joy of my nephews running towards me at the airport upon my arrival and getting the signature warm bear hug from my dad are priceless.

I'm back

I'm still alive. Thank God. What a sucky flight I had. Simply because of the total time I spent flying here. It's disgusting I won't even mention it.
And, no one told me that the immigration will take your picture once you get to the US. Great. I bet my picture looks even scarier than Nick Nolte's mug shot (click here).
Anyway, feel so happy to see my boyfriend. He told me that ever since I left, the Bulls never won a single game. They had 8 straight losing game. And the night before I landed in the morning, the Bulls had their first win in a long time.
Awww... that makes me feel special. :D
Plus! They won again last night. I wouldn't know because I fell asleep. It's just my boyfriend hanging around & told me they won when I woke up later last night.
Another thing that's missing while I was away is the sunshine. They had overcast for over 2 weeks. And guess what, the sun shone yesterday evening and today morning, it's sunny.
Yeah, baby,... I am Matahari.
Hehehe...
I bought so many stuff for my boyfriend, it's like Christmas all over again for him yesterday.
Anyway, it's slavery time again. I will start working tomorrow. I hope I won't fall asleep with my head on the keyboard in the middle of the day. That would be kinda embarrassing.

One sad thing about Jakarta is saying goodbye my family, I couldn't care less about Jakarta, but I do care about my family. I sometimes question myself why I even be here and see them only for 2 1/2 weeks in 3 years if they are the most important people in my life.
I sometimes don't know what to decide.
I told my boyfriend yesterday that I had second thought on staying here in the US after seeing them getting older and older despite my company is willing to sponsor me greencard, unless I can bring them all here, which is kind of too wishful to come true.
Sigh... what a daughter/sister/aunt gotta do?
I wish I know.