Week after week I have been thinking about so many 'why's lately.
So many 'why's that I feel so tired.
I do think that quarter life crisis exists.
I have it.
It's either I have it or I am hypochondriac.
Won't I be a hypochondriac if I genuinely think that I am hypochondriac?
OK. I won't confuse you more.
So, this is what it is like to be an adult. Fully independent. Working your ass off, totally responsible of your own health, what you eat, what you buy, who should do your tax, service your car, make sure you don't miss a nephew's birthday, call your mom, and actually listen to your mom's issue (and not the other way around). Go to church, go to work, go to the grocery store, do your laundry, iron your work shirts, email to your dad, cook for yourself (who else would?), vacuum the whole house from all the dog hair, look at dust and think 'Hm,... dust is the by product of dust mites, so if I see dust, it's as good as an indication that the mites exist, should I Clorox everything to kill it? Dilemma between cleaning some more or just drop the whole thing and have some rest. I've seen pictures of dust mites. So I know what those suckers look like, except in my head they're as big as a cat. Water the plant, pray for my fish, Munchy, who is sick and at the moment is swimming sideways so that God will give it another chance. Pay bills on time, pay mortgage on time. Remember when to change the oil, check my mails, add my windshield water, change my raggedy window wiper.
What else do I miss?
Now, my whys.
Why the heck does someone stays in the fastest lane but only driving 60 miles an hour.
Why do my hair so puffy on some days? I look like Tina.
Turner that is.
Why can't everybody just be quiet? I can't hear myself think.
Why do I life here? Here in the US like there's no other country where I can settle down and move on with my life.
Why aren't I interested to go clubbing again? Have I gone old and moldy.
Talking about old, I think I have more wrinkles then ever. And eye bags as big as Santa's belly.
Why can't I have a night of sleep without dreams.
Why are my dreams are all fill with stressful and weary emotions?
Why do I feel like happiness is just a virtual concept?
I feel so restless.
There...
I thought I won't bitch about life, but I guess today I do. And it doesn't even make me feel better.
I don't know what to do.
