I freaked out last week at my husband's church when a little girl, about 5 year old, came out of nowhere and strangled my leg and asked me, "Do you have a baby?"
I guessed she meant do I have any kids.
She completely hung tight to my legs and she leaned on my tummy.
And I just freaked out with this foreign object, uhm, I meant kid, attached to me.
I tried to loosen up her kung fu grip while answering "Uh, no.... no I don't."
She looked at me, puzzled. I guess that's because no one has ever tried to get away from her hug.
While, I thought, well, there's always the first time for everything.
Then I got away.
I hope God does not punish me and make me barren.
I sincerely, humbly, hope.
I just don't know what to do when kids cling to me, expecting me to 'mommy' them. Actually, there's this rejection inside me when they do that.
A female coworker calmed me down when I told her this story. She said that the little girl was a stranger to me, hence my reaction. But if she were my own kid, I would have welcomed her.
Thanks, Irene (my coworker). She would never read this blog, because she doesn't know this blog exists. But that really calmed me down.
It means that I'm not anti-kids.
I'm just not the motherly type of female. Maybe one day, when I have kids, things will change.
But for now, I'm okay and I can live with the label of she-who-freak-out-around-kids. :)
