City Love

I bare my windows wide open today and invite the city to come in.
A girl two stories down from me in the apartment across my windows as usual is working on her laptop. I quietly look at her & say my goodbye as I do this blog.
And the middle age guy who sits by the window (also working with a laptop) is somehow nowhere in sight. He might be having dinner with whom I suspect is the wife.
My two companions, not knowing each other, never exchanges smiles, but they never fails to give me the sense of stability.

My room is empty, as cheesy as it might sound, apparently as empty as my feeling.
I don’t know what I’m looking for anymore.
A city girl who’s trapped in the term ‘efficiency’ and moving to the suburb to get closer to work.

Am I ever going to go back to the city?
Having the privilege to walk to a grocery store at midnight wearing pajama, buy some beer and go to the roof top and wonder how far you can spit while the horse carriage passes by on its way home at old town area is priceless.
Will there be picnic at the lake shore again?
And will it feel the same? As a visitor rather than a resident.
Will I miss the fact that I can literally walk to the bars and clubs and go home totally wasted without having to worry to drive or have a designated driver. Yes, I will definitely miss that.

It's the end of an era. I feel crappy. I hate the way I'm handling this. I guess, I’m just being honest.
I’m a city mamacita.

"Friday evening, we've been drinking
2 AM, I swear I might propose
but we close the tab
split a cab
and call each other up when we get home
falling asleep to the sound
of sirens" - City Love, John Mayer

Answering my roommate's

My roommate told me to fill this up. So, here are the answers:

Bernard Pivot's 10 questions:
1. What is your favorite word? peace
2. What is your least favorite word? war
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? my fiance & my mom
4. What turns you off? arrogance
5. What is your favorite curse word? d**n it!
6. What sound or noise do you love? beach sound
7. What sound or noise do you hate? phone ringing continuously
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Almost any kind of enterpreneurship.
9. What profession would you not like to do? car salesman
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome to the party, everybody you love can go up here too so you can always be together

Are we that mean?

Quote of the day:

I waited on the corner for my blind date.
When this girl walked by I said, "Are you Linda?"
She said "Are you Richard?"
I said "Yeah."
She said "I'm not Linda."

A King or a Fool?

Quote of the day:

"I thought I was the King of the Mountain. Apparently I'm just a Fool on the Hill"

Ah... aren't we all think that way?

Tom Curse!?!?

I'm cursed!
Since I posted my last blog below. I've seen Tom way too many times!
I turned the TV on the evening, flipped the channels.
There he is.
I went to have dinner with my roommate, came back, turn the MTV on, and...
There he is!
Lifetime Achievement Award? Is he really that old? Oh, Katie...
And when I thought I've had my portion for the day. There he is again! Carrying Dakota Fanning around and presented another award.
Then I called my boyfriend (fiancee... whichever), called my mom, chat with roommate. Then back to my sofa, flipped channels.
THERE HE IS AGAIN! MTV after award party.
I thought then I should avoid MTV for a few days.
So, I switched to NBC,...
Just to see him again on a gossip show.
Arrrgghh...
So, I switched to animal planet & went to bed.
I'm cursed.

More Tom? Anyone?

If you have tv or you have internet access to some famous sites like msn or yahoo, then you'd find out that Tom Cruise is dating (*drumroll*) Katie Holmes.
Uh huh, like I care.
If I see Tom one more time on the gossip segments, I'll just kill myself. Hm,.. nope I take it back, I predict then I will have to kill myself this evening, right after I turn the TV on.
I don't care about him nor hate him. I just wish I can see something else on TV in the evening rather than seeing news flash like "Tom and Katie left Rome".
Huh?

Tom's been acting weird. Escpecially on Oprah when he knelt on the floor over and over again stating that he's so into her. I kept thinking to myself when I watched that Oprah episode: He's lost it. I can't believe I once (on my adolesence era) thought that he's cool.
Coolness is something he's lacking at the moment.

It is stupid how a celebrity can't learn from Bennifer humongous disaster.
Remember Bennifer? Ben Affleck and J-Lo.
*Thanks to my roommate who pointed out how similar this is with the 'Bennifer begins'. I knew I saw this kind of thing somewhere before*
Nothing can blow out of proportion and be as messy as it was.

Well, celebs live in a such a big gigantic melrose place drama. Boy meets girl. Girl marries boy. Boy breaks up with Girl. Girl wants boy back. Boy is dating a sexy spanish girl. Girl dates hot sexy Jew-Black rocker and denies it. Boy breaks up again. Girl is single again. Boy meet young girl. Boy acts up stupid & silly. I bet girl is now thanking God that she's divorced from him.
Ah... what a drama.
Boy is such a drama-king.

I wish boy take a rest & let the world aims their cameras elsewhere.

Wishful thinking?
Sadly, I think so.

Too Old for MTV?

I don't know how many of you watch the inferno. Or if you even know the show at all. Though it’s not exactly a very, uhm, mind-stimulating, but once you know what’s going on, it’s hard not to see the next episode. There are 2 teams, the bad asses and the good guys. And I don't like the bad-asses. I don't like those girls in 'bad asses' team. They can really creep you out. They cat-fight all the time, stab people behind their back, ganging up against someone in the team. When they lose, they blame other team members. Yeah, so much for team spirit.
And the bad asses guys, there's this good looking guy, Abe. I have never seen someone who's more narcissistic. Narcism is such a turn-off. I like the gay guy from the bad-asses, though. Maybe he’s the only person I like.

All the beeping sound for a full half an hour is quite distracting. I sometimes wonder what the actual word that was being blocked out. And I did miss some of the essense of the fight and yelling. hehe... those kids are crazy.

I remember once a friend told me, if you watch MTV and find yourself shaking your head in disbelieve, then it’s a sign that you’re old. Well let's not talk about Viva La bam then. Because I can't stand watching that show for more than 3 minutes. Literally.

So,… I guess, I’ll brew my tea now, polish my cane, tighten-up my shawl, wear my thick glasses and get ready to cheer the good guys tonight.

What's the best hangover cure?

Crappy crappy morning.
Baaad hangover.
It's two o'clock now?
Geez,... I need to find something to get rid of the headache.
I even searched the internet to find the best cure for hangover.
And apparently, banana, strawberies, honey, a pich of salt, milk and a bunch of other stuff blended together is the best cure.
Drinking bananas? Yuck.
I took a couple of aspirin though, which, come to think of it, didn't help much.
Anyway, I wonder about roommate's co-worker. She got twice as much booze as I did. May the force be with her today then.
And let's just apply the Vegas rule for last night; What happened in the club, stays in the club. And may I add: Hopefully, the cab last night is not one of those 'taxicab confessions' on HBO.
Amen.

So Much Time, So Little to Do.

Finally, a beautiful day outside.
But, noone to share it with.
I've done watching DVDs, cook, eat, took a nap.
And I still have half a day.
Ayayayay...
So much time... so little to do.

Dedication for a Goat

I'm inspired!
I'm inspired to proclaim today as my vegetarian day.
Until I remember I ate the anchovy my mom sent me yesterday.
Then, correction: I'm inspired not to eat meat (except fish) starting now till the day ends.
I eat anything. It's bad. People always say how I should not worry about what I eat. I look fine without diet anyway.
But hey, skinny people get a heart attack too, you know.
*knock on wood*
Anyway, I stacked my fridge with veggies today (plus some mangoes).
I'm all set!
Wait... can I eat eggs?
I guess I can. Unless I have decided to make today as vegan day. Which I did not.
And so, let the veggie day begin.
The number one factor for me failing this veggie day is not the temptation to eat meat, because, believe me. I will succeed in restraining myself.
It's the absent-minded me who can just walk into the kitchen & pop something forbidden into my mouth, munch it and swallow it without even remember about my pledge of the day.
But I'll try.
I'll try it for a day. And depending on today, we'll see about tomorrow.

This veggie day is dedicated to a goat back home from 5 years ago, which was being sold on the sidewalk, waiting for its doom day.
I can never forget its face as I sat in the car, facing me so sadly.
I can't eat lamb ever since. I don't think I can ever will.
May your last moment be quick and painless.

Almost Engaged

I guess in a couple of days I'll be officially engaged.
Honestly, I almost forgot all about it, I mean that it's freakingly coming my way.
Hmpff... so soon?
I feel like it was yesterday that we had this discussion with my mom that we'll make it official next month.
Well, I guess I am not the bridezilla kind (Thank God!). Because people start asking me if I have tried out some bridal salons, found a good make-up artist, blah blah blah.
Hm.... yea... I guess. Just online.... don't feel like really going out and do it. Not yet.
I am more concerned about my plan to open a business with my boyfriend and he's been taking his time... way too slow. I think I'm just gonna do some calculation by myself. And just show it to him when I'm done.
Besides, it's like what they say: Behind every successful man, stand a nagging woman. I'll be the nagging woman. Nagging him to jack up his speed. (Hi honey! Are you reading this?).
Yesterday when my boyfriend was around, I looked at him (when he's not looking) and think of how straight his hair is. Mine is wavy. I thought about his skin tone, and then mine. His eyes, my eyes. His character, and mine. His choices of TV channels (such as: animal planet & discovery channel) and mine (MTV, E Entertainment and Oxigen).
Boy, I thought, opposites do attract.
I sat with him a couple of days ago, watching Discovery channel. We saw this documentary about humanzee . If you're wondering what it is and if you never heard of such thing, don't be discouraged! Your not alone.
That night I dreamed about it. Well, actually 'them' is the correct word. Lots and lots of chimps that night. Very scary, despite the fact that I do love animals.
Yep, I told him the next day I don't want to see more chimpanzee documentary and I set the channel to MTV. The Inferno was on. Cool! But after 10 minutes of swearing, lots of beeping sounds, the guys being topless, fighting, wrestling. He told me that this show is actually about chimpanzees too, then rested his case with a triumphant expression.
And going back to my being almost engaged.
I bet it'll be weird refering my boyfriend as my fiance starting this Wednesday.
I hope I won't stutter when such occasion occurs.

"Hey, meet my boyffhmpfffiiance"

Yes, definitely need some practice.

That's Hot

Okay now, I'm super bored today and find another thing to put on my blog. Read this Paris Hilton interview at CNN.
She's not my fave celebs at all, but try not to be a feminist and read it.
That's hot. (hahahaha.... just kidding. I just need to say her trademark. I just have to).
The interviewer asked her if she read blogs. And her answer was: "what's that?"
Also when asked if she read the tabloids, she said no. She just looked at the pictures to see if she's wearing something cute last week.
Hm,...
I think that's hot.
Hahaha... j/k.
I better stop here and find something else to do.

My Man of Honor

I am amazed how long has it been since I came to the wake of my childhood friend. It's been 5 freaking years. I had never felt that abundant hatred towards anything ever in my life. Ever. I did not cry when my dad told me that morning that he got an early call from one of my friends, passing the news that my dear friend had passed away.
I sat there.
In my living room, not knowing how to feel. That part is a total blur for me, even until now.
Then I went to the funeral home and saw his parents there. And his mom broke down on my shoulder, muttering all sorts of random pieces of his last hours. His mom said he called my name. And I, despite the enormous regret of why then none of them called last night so I could come and have my last goodbye, just hugged her closer.
Then she said she knew that he always loved me. And I hugged her even tighter and told her that he's finally at peace. And we should be thankful that God had taken away his pain.
It's a weird sight. I should be the one who was weaker and crying. But I did not shed a single tear.
Then on my way back home, I'd finally been able to cry. There's just me and my dad. I totally bitched out how he betrayed me. He promised me that he'd survive from all the disgusting drugs he was consuming. The drugs that would made him stupid and slow and futureless. The drugs that were just bringing him down. When he tried to quit he would puked out blood, then there was blood in his feces. His pain was beyond words. He would disappear for a few months on rehab and called me after he's out. Then a few weeks later called me again and said he failed. Again.
The drugs had cost his family one big house for medication and rehab.
And stupid me just thought that death wouldn't be an option for him. My childhood best friend. He was the one ready to knock-out every guy ever made me cry (that's why I never gave out any addresses). He's the guy who loved me knowing that I would never ever love him back the same way.
He's the guy who, then, settled to be the best friend and be happy for me in whatever I do with any man I choose.
He's the one who once told me that I deserve the best in life. I deserve the best man there is on earth. I deserve all happiness from a very deserving man.
Well.... dearest friend, I found him. The man you were talking about. And we're getting engaged next month.
Had you survived, I would've asked you to be my man of honor.
If only, Dude...

Blue Ribboned Trees

Today, as the early days of my temporary unemployment, I woke up late. As late as 9:30 AM just to hear some noises outside the window, which kinda freaked me out because I live on the lucky number 13 & if it is not an eagle (or a herd of eagles) knocking & bumping their bodies at my windows, then I don't know what was.
Well, too bad, after I took a peek, it's the window washer working outside my windows. Too bad because if not then I can make a very interesting blog all about it.
Okay, moving on. Out of boredom, and my craving for Baja Fresh, I went to Michigan avenue(again...) and took some pictures of some very pretty blue ribbonned trees in front of an old church.



Little did I know at first that apparently those blue ribbons are representing all the children abused in Illinois state.
There are 27,510 child abuse cases in Illinois on 2004. And more than 8 thousands in cook county. The county where I live.
Think about that number.
Isn't that sad & heartbreaking?
I have 4 nephews, and it is beyond words how much I love them. Someone will have to step over my dead body to get their hands on them. And I can't imagine one's heart to be able to do such thing to children.
All I can wish is that next year, the number will decrease, the ribbons will be less. No matter how pretty the trees are, I rather have bald trees and super blue ones.

I Met the Real Focker

Goodness, let me tell you a little story about my roaming about yesterday with my roommate & my boyfriend on Michigan avenue.
There's a street band who always performs on weekend on a busy corner near water tower place. With their flute, trombone, saxophone, et cetera. And I and my boyfriend once heard they played happy feelin' by Maze & Frankie Beverly ( I know,... oh so seventies). It is a very fine song & I was determined to wait them played that song again yesterday. So after standing near by and spend about 2 (very long, jam session) songs, we moved to the actual water tower & sat on the steps there, just enjoying the view while we (as usual) took some pictures. After about 2-3 other songs. I figured that, oh well... maybe another day, the thought of sushi made Happy feelin not to sassy anymore.
So I walked back home, hopped on some horse poop, and I saw a pretty lady was posing for a picture standing by a man. People were starring & I wondered, who's that lady. Supermodel? An anchor woman? And my roommate said "Dustin Hoffman!!!" I looked around, "where??!! "
Hm,... as you might have guessed.... the little man beside that georgeous lady is Dustin Hoffman. And I missed that.
Thinking that the fan is the celebrity, I missed the actual celeb.
Then Dustin walked away.
Sigh....
...
...
Anyway, my point being is that timing is everything. Had I not lingered around waiting for the band to play 'the song' I would have missed Dustin out and about on the street. And on the extension on that point, "everything happens for a reason". That should be my next motto beside "Total world Domination".
Secondly, I need to jump as fast as a cat the next time I see a celeb. I hesitated for a few seconds and Dustin vaporized like dust.
Next time, Dustin,.... you mark my word, I'll get you next time. No matter how scary I'll appear to you.

It Ain't Over Till It's Over

People say, what can't kill you will make you strong. And my boyfriend once told me that, which I immediately answered with "yeah, but it can make you want to kill yourself voluntarily".
See,... this past week I've been having a pretty tough blow. I have to leave my job temporarily, until... well, to be honest, there is not definite answer for that. Though, the longest will be half a year.
I am not claiming to be a strong gal. But this blow did not bring me down. Why? I don't know.
Shocker?
YESSSS... for those who truly know me, I panicked pretty easily.
I told my boyfriend about the news, and he panicked. I had to calm him down. Then next stop was my mom & dad. Mom was okay, she's calm no matter what anyway (why didn't I get her gene on that department?). Dad was not as okay as mom. And ever since, trying to infuse me with a thousand ideas on how to survive here. I told him very nicely and very implicitly that I’m not listening to him.
I know I will survive. How? By breaking my piggy bank?
Nope. I’ll make it a surprise as for now. Just to build the suspense. He he he. And nope I’m not planning to sell drugs or be a pole dancer (I’m not bendy).
Then I told my best friends. Were they shocked too?
You betcha. But, I think my dad tops them all. Which on another subject makes me think to better-filter any bad news when it comes to my parents. I always thought I can tell them anything, no matter how bad the news is, they’ll be even stronger than I am. But I guess; now I need to start taking care of their mind well-being.
I told my roommate, I don’t think this kind of bumpy road is for everybody.
But that’s what makes my life colorful. Because it is not blunt. It’s not monotone, it’s not one color. It has some black spots on the pink. Purple on the orange… yuck… on the second thought, change the orange into lime green. I’m a bit phobic to any shades of bright orange. That color only looks good for veggies and fruits.
And so, I am announcing, shamelessly, that I’m jobless for a few months. And that I’m touched, that my boss and supervisor are waiting for me. And instead of getting someone new, they decided to wait up. And hire a temp.
And I have to say that my coworkers are very compassionate and supportive. For only the 2 and a half months that I was there, apparently they have considered me as part of their family.
I want them to know that, like wise.
As for now, the time away that I’ll be having, I’ll embrace it with joy & bravery. My glass is half full, not half empty.
And, yes my dear,…. Apparently you are right, what can’t kill you will make you strong. I hate to admit when you're right, but this time I’ll let you win.

-Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit-

Where's Craig?

Who is that guy replacing Craig Kilborn? Should I care if he has a cute british accent? Where's Craig anyway? It's been a while since he disappeared.
At this hours of the day, I don't need joke or intelligent conversation on TV. Just give me something to look at before I fall a sleep.

Dear Diary,...
Today the stinky tunnel is super duper stinky, as if the regular stinkiness is not stinky enough.
Might get a mask to protect my nerve endings...
Can't wait to buy me a car this summer.

Get Drunk and Go to Heaven

The one who drinks gets drunk
The one who gets drunk goes to sleep
The one who goes to sleep does not sin
The one who does not sin goes to heaven
so let's all drink and go to heaven

I saw that posted on my team leader's desk today while waiting for another team leader to give me some training.

Stinky Tunnel

Everyday, I have to go through a stinky tunnel that connects my first train to my second train.
Today, having set my mind on American idol (yes, yes... I'm such junkie for some tv shows), I rushed & walked as soon as I can in the stinky tunnel



I remember thinking, wow, I'm walking so fast it almost feel like running. As a matter of fact, I think I'm actually doing some exercise by walking in the stinky tunnel. I think I should walk like this everytime I pass by the stinky tunnel. One, because it's stinky most of the time, secondly, maybe I can save a few seconds and probably get to the train whose door about to close and I don't have to wait another 10 mintes for the next one. And third, I feel like I am actually doing some short of excercise. Hey, maybe I should buy a pedometer & use it everyday to see how far I go per day.

Wow... I'm fast. I don't know I can walk this fast. Feel like I'm in a fast walk competition. No one is walking faster than me. No one catches me up.

And suddenly,... an old man pass me by.
...
...
...
and another passenger,
and then another...

Am I surrounded by Olympians?
Or maybe I should take it as a sign that I need to excercise?