Thankful?

Today is the day of turkey massacre.
Happy thanksgiving people!
I'm sick, got the cold, sore throat, feel nausea. Yesterday we had a snow storm (ridiculous weather). Well, yesterday was not this cold, as we all know, the day of the snow is not as cold as the few days that will follow.

It's cold now. You can really walk around the block & right away get frost bitten.
I & my roommate have been blazing the apartment with maximum heat. (Okay if you check Chicago weather, you might not find it as cold as Siberia, but... we are tropical,... very tropical).
And, my boyfriend (who promised to come) didn't come. Bailed on the last minute.
And I am supposed to feel thankful?
And let us not have anonymous comments like, you should be thankful you little twit, etc etc, because, talk to the hand, I've been there, done that. Lecture is the last thing I need, and also, I've set my blog so that everybody who comments should show his/her identity. Hah!
Sigh.... I think I'm just tired, the medicine is kicking in, so I'm tired++ (read: plus plus), sleepy, nausea (I said that already?)... and sad.
Right now, the hot air of my hometown is really really missed, preferably combined with my mom chicken soup. She's the best (Hi mom! I miss you).
Well, now come to think about it, I am thankful, even if I'm half a world away, I keep in touch with her, we talk weekly (less or more), I spend quite a lot for that, but it is worth it & somewhat a necessity. She makes my problems lighter and dark days brighter.
I'm thankful for that. I still have 1 hour till this day ends, finally I can make peace and say my thanks. Honestly, when I started this post, I wasn't about being thankful. I was in a mission of being a biatch. And I better stop here before I get biatchy again.

Jakarta Has the Biggest Mosquitos

I was home sick these past few days, and as the result I googled anything that has something to do with my home: Jakarta Indonesia.
I've been having this love-hate relationship with my home town. It's no longer safe there, and I despise the goverment, corruption, etc, but I love it. Still. Hey, however, it is the land where I grew up. And, here, I dream about home a lot!
So, I just wanna share this one link about non-Indonesian living in my country and how a culture-shock Indonesia is for them. But, see, Indonesia does grow on you after a while.
There, we have the biggest mosquitos. And even bigger after they bite us and suck our blood. So, it's either spray lots of mosquito repellent (and get ourselves killed breathing it) or get bitten by them & get itchy & swollen. It's a lose lose situation. You have to be an Indonesian to really master the way out. And that is to train the speed of your movement until it almost reach the lightning speed, to clap your hands and get the mosquito squashed in your hands. And after a while, your hands will operate by themselves, just out of reflect, they will clap mosquitos while you sit out in the living room watching TV.
Another thing about Jakarta is that your neighbor might have a rooster or two. It doesn't apply to most people, but, lucky me, my neighbor has a few. So on the wee hours everyday, they'd wake you up. Screaming on the top of their lungs.
The McDonald's there sell rice and fried chicken. And the crazy traffic (believe me, LA & NY are nothing) will drive you nuts. I ate in some very questionable small kiosks built on the pedestrian passage with, I can assure you, very dirty utensil & e-coli-inhibited ice tea. But, they have the best food. I'm not sure if my digestive system can still handle them anymore, but the next time I go home, I'll surely go back there.
They are are another million things to talk about Jakarta. It's a never ending list.
I hate the terorists there, intoxicating the mind of the uneducated people. It's a shame. It really is a shame.
But I think, I'm going home next year, to visit the roosters and re-train my hand-clapping a bit.
Besides it's been a while since I take a ride in one of these.

Viva Los Padres

A few days ago, a lightning suddenly struck my head while I was complaining to my boyfriend on how tiring my new job was. Not the job, but more of the distance that I have to get through daily, back and forth.
All this time, I've always managed to arranged my schedule and also, my previous job was mainly part time. I still had time to go out and about and just 'enjoy' life.
But this job that I have right now is the real thing. My real real, full time job.
And I was toasted.
Then reality slapped me on the face, real hard: My dad has been doing this, you know,.. working... for oh, I don't know how long. Too long!
Don't you think that most of you attached more to your mom than dad?
Not in all cases but most of you might have more bonding with your mom simply because she's around more.
But weirdly enough, some fast flashes scenarios in my head showed how my dad (this time, not my mom) worked late, went out of town for some business, etc, etc.
But I always managed to get new dresses, new watch, new cellphone, big teddy bear, etc, etc,... who paid for that? And when I'm sick, he called my mom like a thousand times a day and brought me nice stuffs back to home.
Sigh... though it's only been a week, but now I can emphatize more to how hard it is being a dad and the burden to be a bread winner & how they have to divide their time between work, kids, wife, (and their mom maybe?). When do they have time to relax? Pursue a hobby? Coz not everybody is born rich. Not all dads have all the money in the world.
So I emailed my dad. And I thanked him. Officially thanked him for all the years he spent busting his a** to be the provider. And he emailed me back, touched by my gesture and thanked me back for acknowledging that.
Sigh...
Oprah said (or maybe Oprah quoted someone) : " All the children have a hole in their heart, the shape of their fathers."
It's a tough world for dads who live on a 24-hour-a-day world and I found a whole new profound respect for them. Though it might seem like they're never around. Look around you and think of how your tuition, car, gym shoes, or nose job were paid. From whose account was that?
See...?
Then all repeat after me: Viva Los Padres.

Never Never Land, Here I Come!

Yesterday was my last day at work.
That's also the reason why I haven't been around my blog & written down anything.
Too much things happening and I just hate to whine on my blog.
I got a new job, a job that's supposedly better for my career with hm,... better pay too.
And so, yesterday I felt lousy because I actually love my job there and I loooovvveee the people I worked with. I dont' know if any of you have a boss so great like mine, but she's awesome. I don't think there will be a nicer boss in my life. Except for her weird hysteria around bird. ;)
Anyhow, it was time for me to leave and my boss gave me a card full of best wishes from everyone. My coworker made me a funny poem. And my other boss thanked me. And told me what a wonderful woman I am.
It was one of the saddest day in my life.
But ces't la vie, and life goes on.
I walked out (after I hugged mostly everybody, especially my boss), almost running and I just can't help but feel like crying.
And I walked and walked and walked until I got home. By foot!
Forget the train!
I really walked.
I went pass Chicago river, Marina tower, House of Blues, Chicago Avenue... until I arrived at my apartment lobby.
And just a little note: I wore heels. Though they are not stilettos, you've got to give me credit for that.

I needed closure, I guess, to the nice atmosphere of downtown chicago and the thought that I might not be able to be around it for a long time just sadden me. Well, yes I'll still gonna live downtown, but I'll commute to never never land everyday.
Sigh... never never land, so so far away.
What a high price to pay for such career ambition.