My Big Surreal Mexican Wedding

First of all: relax, relax,... I'm just kidding, it's not my wedding. Besides, we're Asian.
I've been debating with myself about how I want to blog my experience yesterday and I came up with at least 6 different kinds of angles and it can take me a whole week to really portrait it, and I have a life.
So, after eating 3 grapes, I have made up my mind and decided to just do the quickest one possible.
My boyfriend told me that he intended to wear a tejana and corbata to blend in with the crowd. I, on the contrary, think that it is not a good idea. I'm not sure if he's joking or not. If he was, then it's funny, but if he's not, then we have a problem.
Anyway,...
When we arrived, the groom was missing, word is that he's out buying some more ice for the drinks. About half an hour later, we saw him with a doly hauling, yes, ice.
For me it was a very weird sight, but, hey, somebody's got to get the ice. And the groom was available.
I guess...
Also, this is the first time I ever see a bride cleaning up dirty plates & busy arranging the food.
The sight was just new for me, and I don't know what to say.
Jumping to the dancing part, I watched really closely as they dance. Super fast tempo they had with full blown la banda (band) and it seemed like the groom was dilligently trying to stomp on the bride's feet, but then she skillfully jump to the side (or the back or, whereever). Then all of a sudden, I thought, heeeyyy... wait a minute, that is how my boyfriend do his silly dance.
And at that very moment, (swear to God) my boyfriend leaned towards me & said "Now you know where I picked up those dance moves."
Sigh,...
Oy...

"Celine Dion critized President Bush for his slow response to Hurricane Katrina. Celine said, 'I could have driven everyone out of the city in two songs'"
-Conan O'Brien

I Have Wiiings!!!

I should have bought this wings I found at a clothing store. It's a bit small but it'll do.
Wonder what my coworkers & boss say if I wear this on Halloween.
Just kidding. I still want to be employed.
I wonder if I can find myself a halo to go with it too.
I already have the devil horn & tail that I wore in the past years. Which by the way fit me just great.
Maybe it's time for a joke & wear the wings & halo.
Yeah... being an angel might be the way to go this Halloween.
I'll think about it, though... my boyfriend might have a problem walking by my side on that day. (Let alone walking by my side the entire day, he had problem taking this picture. But being a good boyfriend that he is, he did anyway. Hahaha... )

Bird Dropping

A bird pooped on me!
There gotta be something good coming my way after all the hassle cleaning up while my obsessive-compulsive mind kept on screaming:
"Arrrgghhh...."
"Arrrgghhh........"
"ARRRGGHH......"

Who? Handsome? Where?

I called my mom a couple of days ago, as we're chatting about stuff she suddenly said to me:
Mom: "hey, do you remember Aunt Yvonne?
Me: "Who?"
Mom: "Aunt Yvonne, Aunty Lynn's cousin"
Me: "Hm,... Mom, Aunty Lynn, I know, but I ain't know nothing about Aunt Yvonne"
Mom: "Tsk, you know her, she's the chatty aunt from your cousin Jenny's wedding, she has two sons, the second one is as old as you, just a few months older"
Me: "Two sons? Hm,... "
At this point, some very vague flashbacks about Jenny's wedding all came rushing back to me. Fiiuffh.. that's a quite labor-demanding wedding that one. Just cause her future in-laws very strickly stuck on the old tradition with all the super jaded ceremonies which inquired presence of family members, a lot. Multiple times. Which made me -as a participant- had to buy multiple outfits too.
Anyway, I remembered a chatty, skinny, cheery aunt. That's gotta be the one. And the two sons... eh... maybe I know them.
Me: "Do I know the sons?"
Mom: "Don't you remember? Aunt Yvonne has two sons, the eldest one is less attractive, a bit shorter than the second one. The second one is quite handsome & tall too. The second one had a huge crushed on you. Remember?"
What?
Me: "What?"
Mom: "He kept on asking about you during all those ceremonies we had."
He did?
Me: "He did?"
Me: "How come it seems like I'm the only one who doesn't know this?"
Mom: "Well, maybe you just forgot about this, I think you did know, he was asking about you to all of your cousins."
Me:"Then, if he's handsome, how come I don't like him back? Are you sure it's the handsome one? Not the other one?"
Mom: " I think you're about to go to Chicago for school, Dear, so I guess you were just not interested in being involved with any guy. Yes yes, the second one, same birth year as yours"
Oh yeaa.... that guy. Yea yea... I remember a big guy in a tux.
I think he looked quite nice too. But I don't remember quite much about him.
This is so disturbing. My brain cells.
Me: "Uhm yeah, okay, so whazzup with aunt Yvonne?"
Mom: "Her son is getting married next week and our family is invited"
Me: "Huh? Which one?"
Mom: "The second one, the one who had a huge crush on you"
Me: "See, Mom, are you sure that it's the second one that had a crushed on me? Maybe it's the other one."
Mom: "No, I'm sure, Dear, I asked Aunty Lynn when she called me the other day: which son? Is it the one that had a huge crush on ******** (fill my real name here)? Aunty Lynn said yes, that's the one"
Oh, For Zeus sake, everybody, like, E.V.E.R.Y.B.O.D.Y knew?
Ugh... this conversation disturbs me on many levels:
a. I don't like the idea of everybody knowing something about me that I don't. Especially, this kind of thing. My personal bubble is huge, y' know.
b. My mom has better memory than me.
c. My mom is almost 60. And still she has better memory than me ("yes yes, same birth year as you") I mean... w.o.o.o.w!
c. Just realized that I'm old. Jenny's wedding was four freaking years ago. Makes me even more nervous about my next birthday.
d. That supposedly handsome guy... who is he? What's going on here?
Though on the lighter note, I'm happy for the supposedly handsome guy. Wedding is a big thing. I hope he provides unlimited supply of grilled lamb, my dad loves it and he does eat a lot.

A Doofus Hunk - Oximoron? Who cares....

Watched Wimbledon last week. I didn't think that I'd like it but apparently I enjoyed it. Though Ebert & Roeper only gave it 1 thumb up, but to be noted that the thumb down from Roeper is a 'reluctant thumb down'. So, it was almost a two thumbs up.
I know that some chick-flicks really tick me off, but this one I like. I'm not going to review it, though, because I'm lazy. I'm just gonna say Kirsten Dunst made what looks like a very delicious smoothie when she's furious. (You have to see it to know what I mean). Hehe... (wicked laugh).
I also don't like pale guys, and Paul Bettany is pallleee (as casper) & blond. So blond that you almost can't see his eyebrows. Look,... look at the picture. Almost no eyebrows.
But the story-line made him fall into category 'cool guy', an almost-hunk even. Maybe I'm weird, I like down to earth guy and I don't like bad-ass guys. They're a waste of time. And I kinda like dufus guys too. And that's why I'm falling for the character, though the pale actor playing it would definitely fall out of my category of a hunk.
I even ignored the fact that many of the scenes involving the character being all sweaty, which in my obsessive-compulsive little twisted mind is actually categorized as: 'GROSSSSS!!!'. (Again, see the picture, look at his arm).
So, rent it! Or buy the pirated one, or.., borrow.. whatever. And tell me if I'm right. Dufus guys are the best bet.

New Layout! Hooraayy!

The layout is new!
Hoorraaayy!
Now, that i have completely wasted my time on this when I can do laundry, do some work-related stuff and a thousand other things, I thought I might waste it some more by taking a nap.
Ah.. what a nice Sunday.

Oh btw, I went to a park yesterday & took some pictures with my boyfriend.
Who knew that I am an outdoor gal, huh?



Certainly not me.

But it was very enjoyable & I found a tree with humongous tumor, I just have to share it with you all.
There was also a spot full of flowers, and bees!
How many legs does a bee have? I didn't count, but they looked scary. I was eating cotton candy and I swear on Coki's ashes (Coki is my belated dog), one obnoxious bee just kept on chasing me & I literally had to run around avoiding it. So not cool.
Damn bee!
Anyway, more later, gotta get that nap.

I booed Jimi

Today I boo-ed Jimi Hendrix.
My boyfriend put him on & I got headache just listening to it.
So I booed him.
Guess he's just not my cup of tea.

P.S. I made up my mind. I'm gonna take my pictures away from the blog. So say your goodbyes in a couple of day, or maybe in a couple of hours if I'm not lazy, It's gone. Phouff... just like dust.

Shortest Personality Test

Whoooa,...
No kidding, it really IS the shortest test I have to take.
And if judging others with a harsh eye means being bitchy, then YES! This test is pretty damn accurate too.

BTW, have you ever had 3 meetings in a day? I guess for today 3rd one is the charm, eh?

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Life Sans Supervisor

After my supervisor was let go¹ I found my eight hours per day seems to fly by like a snap.
Is that a good thing?
Is that a bad thing?
I don't know. I guess that's a good thing.
But I know this: I sleep well at night. Not because I've achieved everything that I think I should achieve (which is total world domination, obviously). But because I'm tired. And I know this too: That I can manage being a trainee and trainer, have meetings, log documentations, do some research for my boss, have lunch, check on how the new person's doing, do reports, all on top of my usual job routine, then go home, clean my apartment up, call my mom to the other side of the world for an hour and a half and still able to be excited to talk about stuff, reply some emails, pay bills, while cooking oxtail soup and do some self studing at night before I helplessly fall to sleep.
Wait a minute.
For sobbing out loud,... I think I need to workout too. It's been ages since I workout.
Now, would 1 AM sounds like a good time?
Let me write it down on a post-it or something.
Oh, forget it.


¹ --Carter Duryea: I'm gonna have to let some people go.
Dan Foreman: Why do you say let them go? They don't WANT to go. Why don't you just say fire them?
Carter Duryea: Because it sounds better.
Dan Foreman: Not to the person getting fired it doesn't.
--In Good Company--

Haircut

I found a nice sensible person who can sensibly cut my hair.
*Happy, happy, joy, joy*
I'm very picky about who cut my hair and how it should be cut.
My boyfriend said I'm obsessed.
I said: Hey, I just know precisely what I want.
And yesterday. I cut it about 2 inches shorter. I told her what I wanted, and that's a lot (please-dont -use-razor-to-do-the-layering-of-my-hair,... inhale.... I-like-it-this-long-and-also-dont-touch-my-bangs, inhale... my-hair-is-wavy-so-please-dont-start-the-layer-to-short, heeeep,... orI'll-look-like-a-giant-mushroom, inhale... i-like-this-picture-but-I-notice-that-this-has-got-to-be-done-by-razor,... inhale,... doyouthinkyoucanstickwithsctissorinstead?)
But she passed the test.
Wheeww,... I hate my long hair (the term long for me is just a little bit below my shoulder).
*Happy, happy, joy, joy*
Gee,...
hm,... come to think of it,
I am kinda obssesed.

Bunny Girls

I saw a reality show a few days ago about Playboy girls. I think it is called girls next door (or something like that). I think y'all know what it's all about huh? And thinking about girl next door. It's very unlikely that people can relate with the term girls next door and find the girlfriends of Hugh Hefner walking around. Take example: Me. My girl next door is a 80-something year old girl.
You see, I’m a bitch when I want to. Like the bumper sticker that my roommate gave me “I can go from 0 to bitch in 2.5 seconds”. Yep that’s me.
But I always try not to be critical about other people’s lives even if I would rather be caught dead than living their way of life, per se.
And there I was, bored and sleepy on my couch. And what else can a girl do but wash dishes OR be a couch potato?
I, of course, choose the later one. Dishes will just have to wait.
This show was, hm,… interesting. In the midst of it, I found myself feeling (in my tiny apartment, no chef, no maid, no filthy rich boyfriend, no mansion, no limo, no red carpet premieres) damn lucky for not living those girls lives.
No thanks.
Sharing one wrinkly old guy who wears a silk robe everywhere he goes (and one of the girls even share her bed with him,…. Everybody, together say it with me: Eeewwwwww!!!!), sharing mansion with other girls, calling themselves the girlfriends of Hugh Hefner.
Hohohoho…
I’m sorry girls. No, there’s no sympathy when you shed your tears because you have not made it to Playboy centerfold. Seriously. No kidding.
And I just laughed out loud when one them said that she knows that people call them bimbos and gold-diggers, but… they are not. They are not Hugh girlfriends for the money.
Honey, you can be stupid, bimbo, gold-digger and whatever it is that you want to be. I would have had more respect to you if you said you were.
At least I will respect your honesty.
It is funny how I react to that show, thinking that I'm not a feminist nor that I claim to be, but having this urge inside to yell at the TV: "That is a flat-out lie! You are a bimbo! At least admit it with pride. Do something with your life. FYI, there's a world out there outside the mansion!"
Sigh...
I guess I better of sticking with the West Wing and C.J. Craig.
That show is just not for me.

Therapeutic Chatting

This is late. And I'm tired. I should've gone to sleep but I just don't feel like getting ready to bed just yet.
Boyfriend has gone back to his kingdom with his chariot & called me about an hour ago to let me know that he's almost home. I bet he's dozed off by now.
I chatted with almost a half dozen of people today. All on almost different time slots. They all brought different news. One friend told me that downtown is still fun. Yup, I figure it still is.
Others told me that a famous singer back home apparently has six wives, which is completely gross (I’m thinking of putting all bold capital letters on the word gross, but I think people will get it how gross it is anyway). And a bunch of other insider stories about stupid guys (that's for another post).
I talked to my dad, who's about to buy me a yellow cell-phone casing & ship it to me. I told him: Dad! No! No yellow or Orange. In whatever stuff you’re going to buy me. Please...
Wheewww... so glad he called me before purchasing.
Another friend, my roommate, is going back to school and was bitching out about student life... ah... the stinking old days. Good luck, Roomie!
Though she's no longer is my roommate, I like to always refer her as one. I don't think there will be chance for me to have another roommate. So she'll be the only one, ever, beside my family that ever sees how freaky I look like after waking up in the morning. And she might the only one to appreciate how fast I transformed in the morning & ran out to work.
Another friend has women issue. I basically told him, he'll always have that issue. There's no way out. So, deal with it.
That's a lot of chatting for a day.
In a situation where half of your heart belongs to the other half of the world, it’s a thrill to basically touch base with the people you care.
It's nice to know that the world is evolving around you. But some things remain the same, like your best friends / family. You walk in parallel lines, but you know you walk together.

Two Thumbs Way Up

Today, while looking for a report, I found an evaluation about me in my supervisor's computer.
Oh, BTW, stepping back the story a little bit, he's gone. My supervisor is 'no longer with the company'. I wish I could spill a bit of the juicy gossip, but for my own career's sake, let's not talk too much about work in a blog which has clear pictures of yourself smiling to the camera.
So, now it's just me, reporting directly to the big boss. more work & reports to do. But I'm handling it.
Anyway, I found an old evaluation about me. And it was the best evaluation ever. Like, if you notice Ebert & Roeper, the movie critics, going two thumbs down or two thumbs up. My evaluation is two thumbs WAAAY up.
And that eval made me sat there on his desk, stunned at his generousity, and wondered if I owe him that much of thanks and how I should re-pay him.

Saddest Movie Yet So far

Last night I saw House of The Flying Daggers.
*Finally*
I've been curious about that movie and been wanting to see it, especially after Hero.
I dig Hero, though many people don't. I guess the thing is with these kind of movies, people are just not used to: 1. Reading subtitle while watching a movie and 2. They are not used to a very sad, depressing ending. If you love the endings of all Adam Sandler's movies (a.k.a. Hollywood ending), then these kind of movies are really going to make you leave the theater feeling like you need prozac.
I told my boyfriend: Gee, this is sadder than Romeo & Juliet. Shakespeare is nothing compared to this. Romeo & Juliet looks like comedy.
If Shakespeare knew about this story, he would've risen back to life & re-written some of his chapters. Maybe add another guy or something. You know... to twist things up.
I love this movie though.
There was such beautiful sadness in it. And though I don't admit it, my boyfriend said that I'm somewhat melancholic.
...
...
hah! Yea rite.
There was *AGAIN* some fighting scenes up on the bamboo trees, just like Crouching Tiger & Hidden Dragon. Everybody was swinging & jumping from tree to tree. They chopped off the bamboos to use as the weapon, it was pretty cool actually.
At this point, I remember my boyfriend said "Poor Pandas, if they chop all the bamboos, what would the pandas eat then? They only eat bamboos, you know?"
I looked at him.
Speechless.
I guess his discovery channel instinct suddenly surfaced.

Well anyway, if you are ready to get artfully depressed, go ahead and rent it.
I do think it'll be worthwhile.

Favorite line from the movie: "I sacrificed three years for you. How could you love him after three days? "

Eight Hours That Feels Like a Week

You know when you feel like the day is sooo long & you wonder when it's going to be over.
And it's not.
And it keeps going and going.
Well, that my day at work today.
I don't like office politics and I always try my best to wiggle my way out of it.
I don't want to get involved.
Just let me do my job and go home.
Do you know that scene in a cartoon where everybody is in this big fist fight, that all you see is one big thick cloud?
Imagine me trying to crawl my way out of there & when I'm almost completely out, a hand grabs me and yanks me back in.
Yup.
That's my day today.
Thank God it's Friday tomorrow.
And I'm seriously considering taking out my pics from the blog, so maybe I can bitch more about this topic.
Yeah...
Maybe...
But, who would want to talk about work all the time, right?
Nah... I'll just find other things to talk about here. Something non-work related.
Like my apartment building which apparently is full of grandmas.
Uhm,... I'll talk about that in my next posting.
Right now I just need some sleep.

Dove Curvy Models

Have you seen the latest Dove commercial?
Oh, wait, first of all you know Dove right?
Okay… now:
Dove’s concept for their latest campaign is real beauty using real women as their spokespersons. The six models or should I say the six ordinary/real people posed only with their undergarments showing off their figures & curves. Different colors, but definitely they share something in common: they are not thin. I won't say that any of them are thin, even if you would shoot me for that. I say their sizes are around 8-10, roughly. But they look confident and radiant.
Basically, they look great to me.
All our lives, especially females, the propaganda of what is pretty or good or fits the standards have always haunted, indoctrinate or should I say intoxicate our minds. We go by the book and always try to follow the rules.
For Asian, living in Asia, you should be thin & have long hair, sleek and straight, just like satin, the straighter the better. And you have to be white, the fairer the better. If you're fat, you'll find hard time trying to buy yourself clothes.
And here, in the US, many go for blond hair, tanned skin & big boobs.
Going back to the Dove spokespersons, I tried to look at them, closely, but I don’t have more close-up images. They, like I said before, look great. And to be honest with you, I think they are not fat enough.
All of them might fit into one size of clothing, say size 8 or 10, well, around that size.
Now, what about those who has size 16 or maybe size 4.
If Dove is saying that they are celebrating real beauty, then why aren’t there models with a size 2 or 4 and a size 16 or 18 among them?
Many of us struggle to lose weight. And maybe not much of us, but there’s still a number of us who struggle to gain weight. I once read in a beauty magazine a woman’s effort to gain weight because she has no figure at all. No curves and she’s sick and tired of people thinking that she might have an eating disorder disease. I’m quoting her when she said she looks like a walking stick.
I think Dove is missing the point here. And many of you might not agree with me. But be it.
I need to see more walking sticks and fatter spokespersons along with those ladies up there.
And to be honest with you, I think all of them are pretty, they might not be thin, but they are very nice to look at. Hm,… why aren’t there a single ugly person there? Someone ugly but carry a huge smile and friendly eyes for example? Shouldn't that also be considered real beauty?
As for me and the typical Asian beauty, I refuse to join the stereotype. Let my wavy hair has its way, and my skin touched by sun. And I’m not growing my hair long & put straightening chemicals on it & sit for hours at a salon. I don’t have time for all of that.

What's your ideal job?

My cousin gave me this link to a funny job prediction site. All you have to do is enter your name and the site will tell you what profession is best for you.
If I enter my first name only, I am best being a heavyweight boxer. Hehe...
If I enter my full name, my ideal job is a porn star.
Hah...
Gross.
This site is very addictive.
Try it. And let me know what your ideal job is.
My boyfriend entered his surname and his ideal job is anything where he can kiss ass, while with his full name, he's a mermaid. You can't go funnier than that, except for this one time I entered a name & the answer is that you are God.
:)

Baseball Season: Time To Get Heartbroken

I asked my boyfriend the other day, when will the baseball season end?
“Oh, Hunny, we still have a long way to go.”
I said to myself quietly. HHWWWHHAAATTTT???!!
D*** it!
You see, don’t get me wrong, people, all the baseball lovers out there. Stop your typing hands to make a snide comment on my blog.
Not just yet.
Maybe later you can & I just don’t care. But hear me out first.
I’ve been to Wrigley field, jumping up and down (sincerely) when the Cubs scored or better yet, made a home run.
I do think that I love them. I’m rooting for them. It’s hard not to. At first I pitied the under-dog label they’ve been having, but then like any other re-born fan, my faith in them grows.
Which is wrong.
So wrong.
I want them to win. I want them to get to the play-off. It’ll be so much fun to see them get to World Series final.
But it’s not happening, because they are the most ill-fated club in history. Especially this year when that hunk Prior got injured *again and again*. They used to sulk together with the also-ill-fated Red Sox fans, but I guess not anymore since the Red Sox counter-jinxed themselves by winning the World Series last year.
And so, for 6 months in a year, all the hopefuls Cubbies are waiting for the big break. And every year they got sweaty palms every time thay watch the game. And their favorite motto is "Maybe next year".
Is it worth it?
A good example is my boyfriend who's a die-hard fan of the Cubs. He's willing to drive the second car, with no air-conditioner, in about 90-100 F summer day just because his other car has radio reception problem & if he can't watch the game, he's got to listen to it.
Talk about au natural sauna.
Or my classmate who would have 'bathroom breaks' during class to sneak in to the computer & see the score, and had parties to celebrate the Cubs getting to play-off a couple of years ago. (which by the way, got defeated by the Marlins).
Or one person (whom I don't know of) who banged on the computer lab window to get my attention to ask for the score.
I know someone who would boo people on the street just because they were wearing Marlin hats.
Gee... do I really want to join the helpless-hopefull mass?
Hm,...
I don't think so.
One of us is more than enough to represent that.
And that won't be me.

Too Much Green

I guess I have not shared the news that I'm back to work.
My long vacation is over.
It's now officially time to slave myself again.
And the sad thing is that I am also officially a suburbanite.
My new apartment is actually nicer than the one in downtown (if it's at all possible), but it has little bugs, which I made flat everytime they dare to cross path with me.
I need to buy some bug spray.
And I see green much more than I care for.
I have not bought myself a car. Having an apartment too close to work (& and to fiance) might make me a liiittlleee too comfortable. But I'll buy one. And when the time comes, we will all have a good time trying to name the car.
BTW, talking about forms of transportations, my bus stop has spiders.
Spider... hm,... legs > 4
If you know my blog long enough, then you know my rule of thumb: Anything that has legs more than 4 and less than 2, then it's either disgusting or just plain scary.
For spider,... it's both.
We locked eyes the other day. Me and the spider.
And with the wonder of telepathy I told him to stand back... or my shoe will be located on top of his whole head & body in a split second.
He backed away.
I smiled.
I'm glad we can form some basic understanding.
Sigh...
Oh boy... it's gonna be tough.
It's gonna be boring & tough.

City Love

I bare my windows wide open today and invite the city to come in.
A girl two stories down from me in the apartment across my windows as usual is working on her laptop. I quietly look at her & say my goodbye as I do this blog.
And the middle age guy who sits by the window (also working with a laptop) is somehow nowhere in sight. He might be having dinner with whom I suspect is the wife.
My two companions, not knowing each other, never exchanges smiles, but they never fails to give me the sense of stability.

My room is empty, as cheesy as it might sound, apparently as empty as my feeling.
I don’t know what I’m looking for anymore.
A city girl who’s trapped in the term ‘efficiency’ and moving to the suburb to get closer to work.

Am I ever going to go back to the city?
Having the privilege to walk to a grocery store at midnight wearing pajama, buy some beer and go to the roof top and wonder how far you can spit while the horse carriage passes by on its way home at old town area is priceless.
Will there be picnic at the lake shore again?
And will it feel the same? As a visitor rather than a resident.
Will I miss the fact that I can literally walk to the bars and clubs and go home totally wasted without having to worry to drive or have a designated driver. Yes, I will definitely miss that.

It's the end of an era. I feel crappy. I hate the way I'm handling this. I guess, I’m just being honest.
I’m a city mamacita.

"Friday evening, we've been drinking
2 AM, I swear I might propose
but we close the tab
split a cab
and call each other up when we get home
falling asleep to the sound
of sirens" - City Love, John Mayer

Answering my roommate's

My roommate told me to fill this up. So, here are the answers:

Bernard Pivot's 10 questions:
1. What is your favorite word? peace
2. What is your least favorite word? war
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? my fiance & my mom
4. What turns you off? arrogance
5. What is your favorite curse word? d**n it!
6. What sound or noise do you love? beach sound
7. What sound or noise do you hate? phone ringing continuously
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Almost any kind of enterpreneurship.
9. What profession would you not like to do? car salesman
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome to the party, everybody you love can go up here too so you can always be together

Are we that mean?

Quote of the day:

I waited on the corner for my blind date.
When this girl walked by I said, "Are you Linda?"
She said "Are you Richard?"
I said "Yeah."
She said "I'm not Linda."

A King or a Fool?

Quote of the day:

"I thought I was the King of the Mountain. Apparently I'm just a Fool on the Hill"

Ah... aren't we all think that way?

Tom Curse!?!?

I'm cursed!
Since I posted my last blog below. I've seen Tom way too many times!
I turned the TV on the evening, flipped the channels.
There he is.
I went to have dinner with my roommate, came back, turn the MTV on, and...
There he is!
Lifetime Achievement Award? Is he really that old? Oh, Katie...
And when I thought I've had my portion for the day. There he is again! Carrying Dakota Fanning around and presented another award.
Then I called my boyfriend (fiancee... whichever), called my mom, chat with roommate. Then back to my sofa, flipped channels.
THERE HE IS AGAIN! MTV after award party.
I thought then I should avoid MTV for a few days.
So, I switched to NBC,...
Just to see him again on a gossip show.
Arrrgghh...
So, I switched to animal planet & went to bed.
I'm cursed.

More Tom? Anyone?

If you have tv or you have internet access to some famous sites like msn or yahoo, then you'd find out that Tom Cruise is dating (*drumroll*) Katie Holmes.
Uh huh, like I care.
If I see Tom one more time on the gossip segments, I'll just kill myself. Hm,.. nope I take it back, I predict then I will have to kill myself this evening, right after I turn the TV on.
I don't care about him nor hate him. I just wish I can see something else on TV in the evening rather than seeing news flash like "Tom and Katie left Rome".
Huh?

Tom's been acting weird. Escpecially on Oprah when he knelt on the floor over and over again stating that he's so into her. I kept thinking to myself when I watched that Oprah episode: He's lost it. I can't believe I once (on my adolesence era) thought that he's cool.
Coolness is something he's lacking at the moment.

It is stupid how a celebrity can't learn from Bennifer humongous disaster.
Remember Bennifer? Ben Affleck and J-Lo.
*Thanks to my roommate who pointed out how similar this is with the 'Bennifer begins'. I knew I saw this kind of thing somewhere before*
Nothing can blow out of proportion and be as messy as it was.

Well, celebs live in a such a big gigantic melrose place drama. Boy meets girl. Girl marries boy. Boy breaks up with Girl. Girl wants boy back. Boy is dating a sexy spanish girl. Girl dates hot sexy Jew-Black rocker and denies it. Boy breaks up again. Girl is single again. Boy meet young girl. Boy acts up stupid & silly. I bet girl is now thanking God that she's divorced from him.
Ah... what a drama.
Boy is such a drama-king.

I wish boy take a rest & let the world aims their cameras elsewhere.

Wishful thinking?
Sadly, I think so.

Too Old for MTV?

I don't know how many of you watch the inferno. Or if you even know the show at all. Though it’s not exactly a very, uhm, mind-stimulating, but once you know what’s going on, it’s hard not to see the next episode. There are 2 teams, the bad asses and the good guys. And I don't like the bad-asses. I don't like those girls in 'bad asses' team. They can really creep you out. They cat-fight all the time, stab people behind their back, ganging up against someone in the team. When they lose, they blame other team members. Yeah, so much for team spirit.
And the bad asses guys, there's this good looking guy, Abe. I have never seen someone who's more narcissistic. Narcism is such a turn-off. I like the gay guy from the bad-asses, though. Maybe he’s the only person I like.

All the beeping sound for a full half an hour is quite distracting. I sometimes wonder what the actual word that was being blocked out. And I did miss some of the essense of the fight and yelling. hehe... those kids are crazy.

I remember once a friend told me, if you watch MTV and find yourself shaking your head in disbelieve, then it’s a sign that you’re old. Well let's not talk about Viva La bam then. Because I can't stand watching that show for more than 3 minutes. Literally.

So,… I guess, I’ll brew my tea now, polish my cane, tighten-up my shawl, wear my thick glasses and get ready to cheer the good guys tonight.

What's the best hangover cure?

Crappy crappy morning.
Baaad hangover.
It's two o'clock now?
Geez,... I need to find something to get rid of the headache.
I even searched the internet to find the best cure for hangover.
And apparently, banana, strawberies, honey, a pich of salt, milk and a bunch of other stuff blended together is the best cure.
Drinking bananas? Yuck.
I took a couple of aspirin though, which, come to think of it, didn't help much.
Anyway, I wonder about roommate's co-worker. She got twice as much booze as I did. May the force be with her today then.
And let's just apply the Vegas rule for last night; What happened in the club, stays in the club. And may I add: Hopefully, the cab last night is not one of those 'taxicab confessions' on HBO.
Amen.

So Much Time, So Little to Do.

Finally, a beautiful day outside.
But, noone to share it with.
I've done watching DVDs, cook, eat, took a nap.
And I still have half a day.
Ayayayay...
So much time... so little to do.

Dedication for a Goat

I'm inspired!
I'm inspired to proclaim today as my vegetarian day.
Until I remember I ate the anchovy my mom sent me yesterday.
Then, correction: I'm inspired not to eat meat (except fish) starting now till the day ends.
I eat anything. It's bad. People always say how I should not worry about what I eat. I look fine without diet anyway.
But hey, skinny people get a heart attack too, you know.
*knock on wood*
Anyway, I stacked my fridge with veggies today (plus some mangoes).
I'm all set!
Wait... can I eat eggs?
I guess I can. Unless I have decided to make today as vegan day. Which I did not.
And so, let the veggie day begin.
The number one factor for me failing this veggie day is not the temptation to eat meat, because, believe me. I will succeed in restraining myself.
It's the absent-minded me who can just walk into the kitchen & pop something forbidden into my mouth, munch it and swallow it without even remember about my pledge of the day.
But I'll try.
I'll try it for a day. And depending on today, we'll see about tomorrow.

This veggie day is dedicated to a goat back home from 5 years ago, which was being sold on the sidewalk, waiting for its doom day.
I can never forget its face as I sat in the car, facing me so sadly.
I can't eat lamb ever since. I don't think I can ever will.
May your last moment be quick and painless.

Almost Engaged

I guess in a couple of days I'll be officially engaged.
Honestly, I almost forgot all about it, I mean that it's freakingly coming my way.
Hmpff... so soon?
I feel like it was yesterday that we had this discussion with my mom that we'll make it official next month.
Well, I guess I am not the bridezilla kind (Thank God!). Because people start asking me if I have tried out some bridal salons, found a good make-up artist, blah blah blah.
Hm.... yea... I guess. Just online.... don't feel like really going out and do it. Not yet.
I am more concerned about my plan to open a business with my boyfriend and he's been taking his time... way too slow. I think I'm just gonna do some calculation by myself. And just show it to him when I'm done.
Besides, it's like what they say: Behind every successful man, stand a nagging woman. I'll be the nagging woman. Nagging him to jack up his speed. (Hi honey! Are you reading this?).
Yesterday when my boyfriend was around, I looked at him (when he's not looking) and think of how straight his hair is. Mine is wavy. I thought about his skin tone, and then mine. His eyes, my eyes. His character, and mine. His choices of TV channels (such as: animal planet & discovery channel) and mine (MTV, E Entertainment and Oxigen).
Boy, I thought, opposites do attract.
I sat with him a couple of days ago, watching Discovery channel. We saw this documentary about humanzee . If you're wondering what it is and if you never heard of such thing, don't be discouraged! Your not alone.
That night I dreamed about it. Well, actually 'them' is the correct word. Lots and lots of chimps that night. Very scary, despite the fact that I do love animals.
Yep, I told him the next day I don't want to see more chimpanzee documentary and I set the channel to MTV. The Inferno was on. Cool! But after 10 minutes of swearing, lots of beeping sounds, the guys being topless, fighting, wrestling. He told me that this show is actually about chimpanzees too, then rested his case with a triumphant expression.
And going back to my being almost engaged.
I bet it'll be weird refering my boyfriend as my fiance starting this Wednesday.
I hope I won't stutter when such occasion occurs.

"Hey, meet my boyffhmpfffiiance"

Yes, definitely need some practice.

That's Hot

Okay now, I'm super bored today and find another thing to put on my blog. Read this Paris Hilton interview at CNN.
She's not my fave celebs at all, but try not to be a feminist and read it.
That's hot. (hahahaha.... just kidding. I just need to say her trademark. I just have to).
The interviewer asked her if she read blogs. And her answer was: "what's that?"
Also when asked if she read the tabloids, she said no. She just looked at the pictures to see if she's wearing something cute last week.
Hm,...
I think that's hot.
Hahaha... j/k.
I better stop here and find something else to do.

My Man of Honor

I am amazed how long has it been since I came to the wake of my childhood friend. It's been 5 freaking years. I had never felt that abundant hatred towards anything ever in my life. Ever. I did not cry when my dad told me that morning that he got an early call from one of my friends, passing the news that my dear friend had passed away.
I sat there.
In my living room, not knowing how to feel. That part is a total blur for me, even until now.
Then I went to the funeral home and saw his parents there. And his mom broke down on my shoulder, muttering all sorts of random pieces of his last hours. His mom said he called my name. And I, despite the enormous regret of why then none of them called last night so I could come and have my last goodbye, just hugged her closer.
Then she said she knew that he always loved me. And I hugged her even tighter and told her that he's finally at peace. And we should be thankful that God had taken away his pain.
It's a weird sight. I should be the one who was weaker and crying. But I did not shed a single tear.
Then on my way back home, I'd finally been able to cry. There's just me and my dad. I totally bitched out how he betrayed me. He promised me that he'd survive from all the disgusting drugs he was consuming. The drugs that would made him stupid and slow and futureless. The drugs that were just bringing him down. When he tried to quit he would puked out blood, then there was blood in his feces. His pain was beyond words. He would disappear for a few months on rehab and called me after he's out. Then a few weeks later called me again and said he failed. Again.
The drugs had cost his family one big house for medication and rehab.
And stupid me just thought that death wouldn't be an option for him. My childhood best friend. He was the one ready to knock-out every guy ever made me cry (that's why I never gave out any addresses). He's the guy who loved me knowing that I would never ever love him back the same way.
He's the guy who, then, settled to be the best friend and be happy for me in whatever I do with any man I choose.
He's the one who once told me that I deserve the best in life. I deserve the best man there is on earth. I deserve all happiness from a very deserving man.
Well.... dearest friend, I found him. The man you were talking about. And we're getting engaged next month.
Had you survived, I would've asked you to be my man of honor.
If only, Dude...

Blue Ribboned Trees

Today, as the early days of my temporary unemployment, I woke up late. As late as 9:30 AM just to hear some noises outside the window, which kinda freaked me out because I live on the lucky number 13 & if it is not an eagle (or a herd of eagles) knocking & bumping their bodies at my windows, then I don't know what was.
Well, too bad, after I took a peek, it's the window washer working outside my windows. Too bad because if not then I can make a very interesting blog all about it.
Okay, moving on. Out of boredom, and my craving for Baja Fresh, I went to Michigan avenue(again...) and took some pictures of some very pretty blue ribbonned trees in front of an old church.



Little did I know at first that apparently those blue ribbons are representing all the children abused in Illinois state.
There are 27,510 child abuse cases in Illinois on 2004. And more than 8 thousands in cook county. The county where I live.
Think about that number.
Isn't that sad & heartbreaking?
I have 4 nephews, and it is beyond words how much I love them. Someone will have to step over my dead body to get their hands on them. And I can't imagine one's heart to be able to do such thing to children.
All I can wish is that next year, the number will decrease, the ribbons will be less. No matter how pretty the trees are, I rather have bald trees and super blue ones.

I Met the Real Focker

Goodness, let me tell you a little story about my roaming about yesterday with my roommate & my boyfriend on Michigan avenue.
There's a street band who always performs on weekend on a busy corner near water tower place. With their flute, trombone, saxophone, et cetera. And I and my boyfriend once heard they played happy feelin' by Maze & Frankie Beverly ( I know,... oh so seventies). It is a very fine song & I was determined to wait them played that song again yesterday. So after standing near by and spend about 2 (very long, jam session) songs, we moved to the actual water tower & sat on the steps there, just enjoying the view while we (as usual) took some pictures. After about 2-3 other songs. I figured that, oh well... maybe another day, the thought of sushi made Happy feelin not to sassy anymore.
So I walked back home, hopped on some horse poop, and I saw a pretty lady was posing for a picture standing by a man. People were starring & I wondered, who's that lady. Supermodel? An anchor woman? And my roommate said "Dustin Hoffman!!!" I looked around, "where??!! "
Hm,... as you might have guessed.... the little man beside that georgeous lady is Dustin Hoffman. And I missed that.
Thinking that the fan is the celebrity, I missed the actual celeb.
Then Dustin walked away.
Sigh....
...
...
Anyway, my point being is that timing is everything. Had I not lingered around waiting for the band to play 'the song' I would have missed Dustin out and about on the street. And on the extension on that point, "everything happens for a reason". That should be my next motto beside "Total world Domination".
Secondly, I need to jump as fast as a cat the next time I see a celeb. I hesitated for a few seconds and Dustin vaporized like dust.
Next time, Dustin,.... you mark my word, I'll get you next time. No matter how scary I'll appear to you.

It Ain't Over Till It's Over

People say, what can't kill you will make you strong. And my boyfriend once told me that, which I immediately answered with "yeah, but it can make you want to kill yourself voluntarily".
See,... this past week I've been having a pretty tough blow. I have to leave my job temporarily, until... well, to be honest, there is not definite answer for that. Though, the longest will be half a year.
I am not claiming to be a strong gal. But this blow did not bring me down. Why? I don't know.
Shocker?
YESSSS... for those who truly know me, I panicked pretty easily.
I told my boyfriend about the news, and he panicked. I had to calm him down. Then next stop was my mom & dad. Mom was okay, she's calm no matter what anyway (why didn't I get her gene on that department?). Dad was not as okay as mom. And ever since, trying to infuse me with a thousand ideas on how to survive here. I told him very nicely and very implicitly that I’m not listening to him.
I know I will survive. How? By breaking my piggy bank?
Nope. I’ll make it a surprise as for now. Just to build the suspense. He he he. And nope I’m not planning to sell drugs or be a pole dancer (I’m not bendy).
Then I told my best friends. Were they shocked too?
You betcha. But, I think my dad tops them all. Which on another subject makes me think to better-filter any bad news when it comes to my parents. I always thought I can tell them anything, no matter how bad the news is, they’ll be even stronger than I am. But I guess; now I need to start taking care of their mind well-being.
I told my roommate, I don’t think this kind of bumpy road is for everybody.
But that’s what makes my life colorful. Because it is not blunt. It’s not monotone, it’s not one color. It has some black spots on the pink. Purple on the orange… yuck… on the second thought, change the orange into lime green. I’m a bit phobic to any shades of bright orange. That color only looks good for veggies and fruits.
And so, I am announcing, shamelessly, that I’m jobless for a few months. And that I’m touched, that my boss and supervisor are waiting for me. And instead of getting someone new, they decided to wait up. And hire a temp.
And I have to say that my coworkers are very compassionate and supportive. For only the 2 and a half months that I was there, apparently they have considered me as part of their family.
I want them to know that, like wise.
As for now, the time away that I’ll be having, I’ll embrace it with joy & bravery. My glass is half full, not half empty.
And, yes my dear,…. Apparently you are right, what can’t kill you will make you strong. I hate to admit when you're right, but this time I’ll let you win.

-Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit-

Where's Craig?

Who is that guy replacing Craig Kilborn? Should I care if he has a cute british accent? Where's Craig anyway? It's been a while since he disappeared.
At this hours of the day, I don't need joke or intelligent conversation on TV. Just give me something to look at before I fall a sleep.

Dear Diary,...
Today the stinky tunnel is super duper stinky, as if the regular stinkiness is not stinky enough.
Might get a mask to protect my nerve endings...
Can't wait to buy me a car this summer.

Get Drunk and Go to Heaven

The one who drinks gets drunk
The one who gets drunk goes to sleep
The one who goes to sleep does not sin
The one who does not sin goes to heaven
so let's all drink and go to heaven

I saw that posted on my team leader's desk today while waiting for another team leader to give me some training.

Stinky Tunnel

Everyday, I have to go through a stinky tunnel that connects my first train to my second train.
Today, having set my mind on American idol (yes, yes... I'm such junkie for some tv shows), I rushed & walked as soon as I can in the stinky tunnel



I remember thinking, wow, I'm walking so fast it almost feel like running. As a matter of fact, I think I'm actually doing some exercise by walking in the stinky tunnel. I think I should walk like this everytime I pass by the stinky tunnel. One, because it's stinky most of the time, secondly, maybe I can save a few seconds and probably get to the train whose door about to close and I don't have to wait another 10 mintes for the next one. And third, I feel like I am actually doing some short of excercise. Hey, maybe I should buy a pedometer & use it everyday to see how far I go per day.

Wow... I'm fast. I don't know I can walk this fast. Feel like I'm in a fast walk competition. No one is walking faster than me. No one catches me up.

And suddenly,... an old man pass me by.
...
...
...
and another passenger,
and then another...

Am I surrounded by Olympians?
Or maybe I should take it as a sign that I need to excercise?

Prayer of a Commuter

Lord,
Please wake me up tomorrow at least just in time to jump out of the bed, run out of the apartment and jump on the train. If that scenario doesn't happen, please give me patience if after waiting for very precious 15 minutes my train has not shown up yet. And when the train arrives, please give the people inside a little bit of mercy to scoot over an inch and give me space to just stuff my body in before the CTA bell dings and the doors slide.
Also important, please let it be that the people surrounding me in the train don't have funky smell. Because in about 6 stops later & about a hundred people in one cart, I could die in misery for I have weakness for any sorts of stinky smell.
Please lead me to the right position and pole to hang on to, so that I can do the necessary maneuver when the train abruptly stops, on every stop, and avoid to stomp someone’s foot or, worse, get stomped by someone.
If I have to slip and fall, please let it be on someone, not on the floor, for only You knows what the floor has gone through. But, if I may choose, please don't let me fall on elderly or handicapped passengers for I will feel guilty. Better let me fall to someone in a good mood with good smell so that he/she won't be upset and, better yet, give me an understanding smile upon my apology.
Please also give me good timing so that on my transfer to the next train or then to the bus, I don't have to run, or wait for the next bus because the previous one has left without me.
Please bestow upon me, good hearing sense, for I often fall asleep on the second train and also on the bus and I need to wake up just in time after the announcement that my stop is next.
If at all possible, please also make me invisible from all the guys who want to chit-chat all along the way while you know for sure, my mood is hell before 11 and I rather take a nap than talk. Don't let them see that I'm wearing a watch, because the standard opening line for them is to ask the time.
Forgive me Lord, for I'm sure that most of them are nice, but my nap means more than talking about the weather or bus schedules or whether I am married yet.
Lastly, thank you for giving me a job, because if not then all my long prayer above won't happen and I cannot embrace my daily morning pain with joy.

Why Feb 14th?

Valentine's day is on the 14th (this is a note to a guy friend of mine who one time asked me when Valentine's day is), which, by the way, is today,... And which I forgot this morning when I called my boyfriend to wake him up, until I got a text message from a friend saying happy Vday later during the day.
During lunch time the mailroom staff were busy distributing flowers to all the floors. I feel bad for them, today, they might not have the chance to sit down and have a decent amount of lunch time. No pun intended to all the love birds out there who make a big deal out of Valentine. I don't, just because I don't see why I should. I don't even know Valentine's full name. It's not his birthday, it's the day he got slayed. And though, my boyfriend sends me flowers anually during those times of the year, I won't be upset if he did not send me any. Well, actually on our first Valentine he missed sending me flowers (hahaha... but that's another story. He'll kill me if kiss and tell).
Don't you think that Valentine's day is a mass propaganda of the greetings card companies and all other major business (chocolate, restaurant, flowers,.... and many others that I just can't spill out on top of my head)?
But, hey, I'm not a Valentine hater. I just don't feel like I need to fully participate in it. Valentine is overrated,... and sometimes the birthdays of our parents are underrated. Or their anniversary, or your nephews first day to school. Those days are important for me. Valentine's day... .well.... as far as the western culture goes, it might be just another day when you, as a guy, have to buy your significant other some flowers, and take her to dinner, or you'll end up on the couch tonight.
As for my boyfriend and I, we tried having dinner on Valentine's day, he ordered flowers fedexed from California, and so on, and yes I had some fun, but I would say my Valentine's day is not on Feb 14th. It was on those nameless meaningless days when we had thai or mexican and when we had picnic on north beach shore with crazy fearless birds flying about my head and I kept telling my boyfriend I had this vision that they'll poop on our heads.

You know, this necklace makes me think of this totally random memory of my mother. I was a little kid, and I was crying for whatever reason. And she was cradling me, rocking me back and forth, and I can just remember the silver balls rolling around. And there was snot dripping all over my face. She offered me her sleeve and told me to blow my nose. I can remember, even as a little kid, thinking to myself, "This is love... this is love." - Garden State

Prone to Stress; how to get rid of it?

Here I am. A momentous mark in my life.
THE ROOSTER YEAR!!! Actually the Chinese New Year merely means nothing to me but an expensive dinner (with Peking duck and steamed sea bass, which by the way were mighty delicious). Money well spent…. The portion was not huge though. And despite my body size, I eat. Not the garden salad kind of lady at all. I’m more of the all you can eat Brazilian food kind of lady.
Anyway, I got side tracked.
Going back to the momentous mark in my life:
I passed my first week of my job. And I think I did alright. I love the people and I love the job. Couldn’t ask for more.
Like the slogan of the company: I’m lovin’ it (yeah, you know what it is… ), I’m loving working there.
Now, at this ‘momentous’ mark of my life, how come I am still looking for something else? I still got -what Wilson said- warts and all, all over the place. Actually, I do feel like I under a lot of stress & that I’m very very prone to stress, and up to now, at this very second, I don’t know how to get rid of it.
My boyfriend suggested that I pick yoga back. But at $ 200 for 8 (or 10?) classes, I rather buy me an XBOX. Or like my mom’s idea that I should move to a country, closer to home, so she can drop by anytime & spend the weekend cooking me all the yummy dishes. That idea made me cringe. Not the idea of my mom dropping by, but rather about the idea to move & adapt to a whole new other culture.
Yeah, right, Uh-huh, that would surely trigger suicidal thoughts on a person (like me) who at the very moment is very prone to stess, or worse, depression.
So,... prone to stress (or depression, maybe) ... how to get rid of it?
Any idea?
Even trying to find an idea sounds stressful right now.
Help me out here, will ya?
I am worried. I'm dead serious. When I saw some clearance / sale signs last week and I was not interested, then I knew... I'm in deep poop.

From 'Garota de Ipanema' to 'Wave'

A confession: I have this fetish about Portuguese & bossanova.
You know how all Bossa songs translated in English, and as much as I love Frank (Sinatra, that is), I have got to admit, nothing beats Jobim in Bossa. Thanks to my dad & his ambition to introduce me to Bossa, I’m hooked, since as long as I can remember. I know girl from Ipanema since I don’t know when, maybe since I crawled.
And talking about pure bossa being translated in English; Bossanova in English is fine, but bossanova in Portuguese, now that is what I call music.
I have no idea what it is that they are singing, but even if they were cursing, Portuguese sounds exotic for me. I have mastered the lyric of Garota de Ipanema in the past; I can sing it in Portuguesse. But if you asked me what it means, heck, I don’t know, I just catch this fascination about a girl , as beautiful as poetry, with mocha colored skin.
And, so, today, I am making it official; my next project would be Wave – Antonio Carlos Jobim. It may take a while, but I’ll keep you posted. If I can master Garota de Ipanema, this one should be simpler, because it’s shorter. Who knows, by the end of 2005, I might master 10 songs already.
I can keep my finger crossed, can’t I?

First Day Anxiety

First day on the job always brings me anxiety. Especially, this time it’s about a job that I want to keep. I think basically I’m prone to stress, and like my boyfriend said, I can always find something to worry about. You see, he is someone without a single worry gene within him and my frantic mood always amazes him. Sometimes I would panic about one thing and cried and he looked at me with this look and smile. And his smile would make me look silly & then I laughed too (feel like kicking him on the shin, but… well…). I don’t even know how we can be together after all these years. Maybe opposites do attract.
Anyhow, I have been having some interesting bumpy ride on year 2004 & earlier this year and I don’t think I have bumpier ride in my life. Bumpy ride really makes you stronger in a way you have never thought before. I never thought I would say such thing. Hah.
Last Friday, I finally come to my new company’s headquarter office in downtown (and finally meet the HR guy). We had lunch in Petterino’s which apparently is just around the block from the office.
Something he said really stuck in my head, and that is: “you shouldn’t worry about things that you have no control about.” It was out of the context when he said it, but that sentence really stuck like power glue.
Amazing! People keep on sending me hints not to worry, not to be stress-out, even people who don’t know that I am a stressed-out freak.
So well… I guess today, I should not. Tomorrow is my first day and I am worry (by nature, by default), but I will try not to. For a day, I will let everything flows like it’s supposed to be.

Angry Zit

I had a breakout on my face yesterday. You see, pimple is something that (luckily) almost never happens to me. And when I do have one, that's usually because of two things: one, I just tried a new kind of facial/skin gizmo, lured by ads propaganda or promises printed on the packaging. Two, only happens when I am under stress. And I know this time my zit happens because of the later one.
I always think that life works out in a very strange way. Something good that you have been wishing for, been working on it, just couldn't happen. And then you look away for a second, and you start to think that it's not working out, then, suddenly, with a blink of an eye, there it is!
That thing! That wish becomes a reality.
Anyhow, in my case that thing equals to a new **& better** job.
I think God has a good sense of humor, though maybe I shouldn't even humor about it. But things have been pretty weird. Suddenly all the mess fall into place. The missing puzzles found and fitted. It almost seems like I was just standing still while the universe moves around. And now, I have become a little bit less stressed out, but the zit remains. Well,.... better a zit than a problem. Zit problem is solvable while the other kinds of problems are revolting.
So now, the good news is, I will have a better job starting February. And the bad news is, I just squeezed my zit about half an hour ago and now it appears that I have angered it. It's back with a vengeange & swells up a few times bigger. I , who -humbly stating- am not too familiar with zit, is sitting, writing my blog, with my humongous zit, don't know what to do about it.
I wonder now if zit problem is also revolting...

Chilli died

My fish, Chilli died today.
He used to be mine but since I'm such a freak & depressed-prone, my boyfriend took him away. I would be watching him and panic on every indication / symptom that he is sick.
But he died, finally.
Not floating but staying at the bottom. upside down.
Sniff....
I used to have another fish before this one - Gin (inspired by Gin and tonic, my boyfriend has Tonic & I took Gin). But on the day he died, I was so depressed. It caught me off-guard, right after I went home from work then, bam! He laid at the bottom, upside down (apparently my fish didn't float like the conventional way when they died).
The funeral service in the bathroom was also awful. It was just me and the dead fish & I had to flush him myself and I was hyperventilated from crying.
And after I flushed, I worried that he might still be alive.
What if....
At that point I realized that I've gone nuts.
And I let my boyfriend took Chilli away. For my peace of mind.
I think I suck at goodbyes. Especially the eternity kind of goodbyes.
To my friends back home: this is why when I was about to go to US, I didn't really make it a big deal out of it. You guys had to practically drag me around to go to the get together.
Now you know why, ...
Because I hate to flush you out from my life.

The Most Beautiful Woman

The cold from the snow storm 2 days ago has really started to creep in. All the snow building up is no longer white. Plus, people stepped on it and make it hard & slippery. This week has been really hard for me. Job wise, weather wise and I don't want to complain but on top of that I miss home.
Have you ever find yourself in a situation where nothing can cheer you up (not even a glass of well-mixed apple martini, or purchase a bunch of bath and body works items). And that the snow that you usually love seems just like another tropical rain that you've had all your life. The sky is gray. The bus is late. Or too early & left without you. The problem at work is unsolvable.
When you’re too busy, and later on, too tired to call your boyfriend. When you hate the taste of your lunch, and that super chatty guy at work starts to bug you too much & you just want to smack his face with something like, your shoe or your monitor. Seriously, that guy should find something else to do.
Then the smell of your mom’s pillow started to fill in your head. And you just had this short array of memory flashes rushing through your head, of how her hands looked like, and how they feel against your skin. When you walk side by side with her and you’re just 3 feet tall. Her voice was just so clear, you were talking about food, or your dogs, or how your day went. And you complained about something that's been bugging you and she just ease the burden away in a snap of fingers.
And sometimes you fell asleep side by side on her bed and the warm Jakarta breeze just brushed against your skin and then the dog jumped up the bed and, as usual, kicked you on the head so you'd move aside a bit to give her some space. (she always did that).
Outside, the neighbors passed by. And that crazy rooster just yelled again on top of its lung. Man! It’s three in the afternoon for crying out loud. Get a grip...
And then, right there, in the midst of all, you got sucked back to reality.
There I was. Sucked back; standing, in the cold, windy, dark parking lot, waiting for my bus.
My chest hurt from the mental twinge of the distance we had - 23 hours away of flying.
I've never felt lonelier.
I miss her face, her cooking, her presence, her smile, her soft voice, her laugh, the way she draws her eyebrows, puts on her lipstick and sprays her perfume.
Every tiny bit thing. The way she says hello on the phone.
She soothes me like nothing else could.
I miss her, the most beautiful woman in the world.

2005

I got a tacky but cute head piece with big pointy real feather from the French place where we had New Year's Eve dinner. The guys got the 50's kind of hats which my roommate thinks look like something that Britney spears would wear. He he he…
It was a nice restaurant, despite the fact that a waiter dropped the wine glass right next to me. Luckily, I wore knee high boots. I could feel the glasses jabbing on my boots. Hm,…
And 5 minutes later, another waiter did it again, right next to me. Isn’t that a conspiracy or what?


A friend said a short wish for those in Aceh.
This year I don’t think I have a resolution. I think I’m just going to go with the flow. For once in my life, maybe I should relax a bit and be less of a control freak.
Looking back 2004, I think -emotionally- that was one of the craziest ride I had in my whole life. Not much that I can share here: some of them are too long… and / or too personal.
Having said that, the happiest day in 2004 was when I saw my mom & dad at JFK, NY.
And the most emotional moment was when I walk up the stage on the commencement day, and had a glance at my crowd (respectively): my boyfriend, my dad and my mom.
The saddest was when I let them go at the airport.
And the most relieving is when I got the news from my dad that my mom’s long-struggled health is improving significantly.

On 2004, I can say now that:
I made peace that no one is as good as Hanky Tandayu – the hairdresser - & I settled with other mere mortal hairdressers.
I have gone to Broadway & saw a play. A good musical one.
I spat from the top of the Empire State Building (kidding…)
I saw Tony Bennett.
I’m on my way to get a driver’s license.
I have lost a very good & dearest friend, heartbroken by her, but moving on with the rest of my real friends.
Though not yet perfect, I know a bit of how to make & roll sushi.

Bravest Man of the Year

I saw a man a couple of days ago, wearing gym shorts, T-shirt, walking around in a weather where I wore 2 layers of clothing, top and bottom, overcoat, hat, gloves & scarf.
Hm,.... there is something wrong with this picture.
I wish I could take a picture of him. But he would think that I am nuts.
Interesting....

December 23 2004

I thought it was cold a few days ago,... but every time I wake up in the morning, the weather gets even colder and colder. Unbelieveable. My freezer is warmer than the outside world.
Yesterday, I went to Disney store to buy some stuff for my nephews. Man, I miss downtown. Eventhough it's cold (as hell? hm,... but I heard hell is hot. North pole? Ah... yes.) as the north pole, I went anyway. I, of course, forgot my hat and scarf, as usual. And make the journey to Michigan Avenue more 'adventurous'.
Nothing much to say here. But I do want to share some pictures I took ony my way back. It was about twilight and everything is just, just perfect.

My Secret Santa

Finally I can sit down and retreat to my blog. Yesterday was my birthday. And also the secret-santa-thing day , and also the company's Christmas party. I have only one request to my boyfriend: please don't send flowers to my office & make a scene. Phuulleeaasse. :D My bf said okay.
So, on my birthday, I ate and ate and ate at the party and that was the longest lunch I had maybe in the year of 2004. My boss catered like she's about to feed the whole building instead of just our office.
But yesterday was nice. My roommate woke me up midnight of 22nd and brought me cake with candles (the number is a secret, wink, wink). She took a picture of the cake, told me to make a wish. I blew the candles and fell right back to sleep. While she retreated back out.
From secret santa I got body care stuffs. I l.o.v.e. it. I don't know how she/he could guess it. But it doesn't matter.
I also got a couple of gifts more from the games they had. We had our names drawn & we had to tell something about ourselves that noone in the office knew of.
I walked away easy because I'm the newest member & they practically knew nothing about me. My name was drawn twice. The first time, I told them that I almost lived in Singapore & be a stewardess for Singapore Airlines (before I decided to resign). And the other one, I told them that my mom dragged me to places because she loves to travel. I've been to Bali, Singapore, Malaysia, HK, Japan, Hawaii, Las Vegas, etc, etc, and I hate flying. Ironic isn't it? And so, I walked away with a gift card from Best Buy (yipeee). I'm thinking of buying a new dvd player, or maybe, external drive? We'll see.
Yesterday, maybe the real secret santa was somewhere around. Because, believe me, when it comes to gambling, slot machines in casinos, poker, name drawing, I was NOT the right mate to have. Group members usually hate me because in drawing numbers, I took the last when they want to be the first and the first when they need to be the last. :P
But, hey.... maybe Santa does work in a more modern/mysterious way (considering that most people use heaters instead of chimneys now. Tell me, how does he supposed to stick his belly in the chute?). And he worked it out & got me some more presents because...
...
I've been good this year... ^___^

Movies of The Year Part 2

I take it back!
Ocean Twelve is actually okay. Not bad at all!
Bridget Jones 2 is most def more horrible!!!! As much as I like Bridget, I just can't stand the storyline. Gezz,... THEY should be sued. I saw 2 movies on Sunday and Finding Neverland is quite nice. I reccommend people to go and see it. It also has a 'sane' less than two-hour length so you won't get stuck too long (like when you watch lord of The Ring or Alexander). But, I wasn't tricked into watching Alexander: while Lord of The Ring worth every minute of it, Alexander will make you want to kill yourself.
So, for my second part of Movie Awards:
Here we go:
Most pathetic chick-flick of the year: Should you guess? Yep, it's Bridget Jones 2. I like chick-flicks. But not the stupid ones.

That's it! That's the only thing I want to add!

Okay people!
One more hour till my birthday, I'm 17-year-old every year.

PS. Mr Anonymous contacted me. I wrote him back. Twice! But as usual, lovely Friendster just erase it & produced an error. For both attempts!!!! I am too tired to write the third one. Though maybe third time is the charm, but at time like this, I need my beauty sleep.
I will write him back again and I'll update my blog on it.

Movies of The Year

I just watch Ocean Twelve last week. Ugh... man, I should sue for my money back. I don't like it. I liked Ocean Eleven, despite the questionable little facts. But, hey, it's Hollywood, give it a break. And There are just too many hunks in the movie that made you cut some more slack. But even the studs in Ocean Twelve didn't really do me anymore.
It's okay for movie stars to play as themselves in the a movie. But if the character in the movie was actually someone else and then she played herself (as a movie star) to con people AND she was actually able to fool the whole Rome and Bruce Willis (playing himself,... as Bruce Willis). I mean,... how stupid can Bruce Willis be?
It's just doesn't make any sense.
Anywhooo, not to follow my boyfriend's blog about giving end of the year awards, but I think it'll be fun to have my own movie awards.
So here we go:
Best romance movie: Hero (I don't usually like doomed love, but.. anyway...) and the Village
Best action movie: Kill Bill vol 1 & 2.
Best dufus guy in a movie: Peter Parker - Spiderman 2
Best Cartoon: Is finding Nemo in 2004? But anyway. I love it.
Funniest moment: Spiderman got dizzy and took the elevator down to ground floor.
The biggest mood killer even before going to the movie: Bridget jones 2 - Being in a Thailand prison. That will do.
The most confusing names to track : The characters' names in Hero
The best tough-love scenes in a movie: Ray Charles' mom in Ray
The most turn-off hunk: Prince Charming - Shrek 2 - I don't like men who stare on the mirror more than I do. I'd choose shrek anytime.
The sexiest villain with one eye: Darryl Hannah in Kill Bill vol.2
Best Heroine: Uma Thurman in both Kill Bill.
The spookiest villain: Adrien Brody in the Village as Noah
Best Kiss scene: hm,... can't decide yet.
The only time I cried watching a movie for the whole 2004: Fahrenheit 9/11
Movies I like but critics hate: The Village
Director with sexiest wife: M Night Shyamalan.
Saddest moment as a Tom Hank's fan: Watching The Ladykillers
The most awaited movies: Harry Potter & the Village
The best act so far: Jamie Foxx - Ray
Best Hair makeover: Hemione in Harry Potter 3 (compared to the first).
The best professed love: Lucius Hunt in the Village - "Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night."
Boring action movie: Bourne Supremacy
Scariest Movie: Van Helsing (I am phobic to vampires/ blood sucking creatures) & the Village
Wouldn't be caught dead in: the theater watching teen movies (Ella Enchanted, Confession of a Teenage Drama Queen, The Princess Diary 2, etc)
Having said that, I wanted to see Mean Girls but never did.
Okay, I'm going to see Finding Neverland today and maybe I'll update this posting afterwards.

I'm a Secret Santa

Quick!
I need a gift idea for someone professor-ish like IT guy.
We're having secret santa game for Christmas party. And of all people, I picked his name. I really like him though. But,... man, I have got no idea what to give him.
So, please, people. Whoever you are. If you're just passing by or... whatever. An idea (or a list of ideas) are very much welcomed.

Aaarrrghhh..... (I need to take a break). I only have a few days & absolutely no time to think about this.

Sigh....

Oh! P.S. The limit is about $20.00 (that rule was not from me).

Saddest Ice Rink

Today is windy. I went with my roommate to do some shopping. Not for christmas presents. We're shopping for ourselves. The sky are misty. Not a good day for people who loves the sun. But we love it. Where it almost seems like it's going to rain, but not raining yet. The sun is hiding & it gets dark really soon and the city lights are on. I just love fall & I love December. It's my birth month. My boyfriend said he already bought me something, but he hid it somewhere I wouldn't find. I went to his place yesterday, but I couldn't find it (it's okay, there's still plenty of time.... *cunning smile*).
Anyway, we walked in the loop area, the stores are crazy. We are very durable people when it comes to shopping but, we lost each other inside & we ended up calling each other to locate our whereabout. After we found each other, we just took off. "Let's go!!!" That's the first thing my roommate said. Hey, I have no complaining about that. We went straight to the door for some fresh cold air.
Man, holiday shopping can surely kill you. Or at least your good mood.
Too many people in downtown. I have no idea where they came from. I walked with my roommate & took the bus to another shopping area. The city is very nice today. The outdoor ice rink is apparently opened. Many people skating outdoor. Ice rink, especially this one brings back sad memories. I used to have a skating buddy. He's gone now. Aneurysm. He's a fine fine buddy. I wonder how his wife's doing now. After he passed away, I lost perspective for a while of how this could happen, to someone so healthy, so nice, so sincere, so young, so bright future. Endless 'why's were asked. I don't find the answer even till now.
I remember falling flat on my butt for maybe 10 times or so. Sometimes, he picked me up, and sometimes he let the cute skating guard picked me up. And he would grin from afar.
He's a cool friend. I can't pass the ice rink downtown without thinking of him. Downtown ice rink won't ever be the same. Or in this case, the mention of Madison, WI, java programming, or Roosevelt university, or My Thai restaurant (and Shrimp fried rice) and so on and so on.
I know people come & people go. I just wish he stayed a bit longer. Maybe even much longer.
If only...

I Won Best Girlfriend Award

I read my boyfriend's blog & found his last posting interesting. Something end of the year awards.
I won the best girlfriend.
Well, because this year (and last year actually) I am the only candidate, so I might be the best, or the worst, heck, who knows. I'm the solo candidate.
But, thank you... thank you...
First of all I want to thank the committee for choosing me as the best girlfriend. Though the committee consists of only one person. I believe that the decision was fair. I want to thank my family for supporting me. My fish who didn't die on me. The sushi guy in sushi station that made my dates perfect.
Also thanks to Oreo cookies. With Oreo, my boyfriend's mood is always lifted. Hahaha.
And Lastly, I want to share this award to the online recipes out there. Because if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach then, then I have paved a highway (8 lanes) to his heart.
Thank you for the award!!!
Good night!!!
(Then I stroll away with a trophy shaped like a troll).

Blue Line Chicas

Really,...
This winter should end sooner. Considering our summer a few months ago was a mere breeze passing by without anyone realizing if the sun worked at all.
Like that song: "Raindrops keep falling on my head.. .blablabla.. yada yada... " something about accusing the sun for sleeping on the job. Yes. Our summer was exactly like that.
So,.. really... please let this winter end sooner.
Today, combined with the chilly weather. We just gotta have the rain too.
I really looked like that morton salt girl. Except for the salt container and I was clever enough not to wear skirt. Plus my umbrella is black, and that is not my hairstyle.
Anyway, there's a girl on the train that's almost always have the same schedule as mine. I see her almost daily. She's this kind of pretty mamacita with long braided hair. Smily face. I swear, if I am a guy, I'd have a crush on her. She's always with this guy, whom I suspect is the hubby, or boyfriend. And if I'm a guy, I'd be cursing her guy.
She looked married but she looked so young. Ah, not for me to judge.
I remember this one guy whom blog I read a few months ago. All he did was keeping track of the cute girls he sees on the blue line train (which is my line to work now). Maybe I should do the same and maybe, even email him with my findings and compare notes.

Here... you drive...

Omigosh,
I really pity my sweet boyfriend. I was never this kind of person who love to drive. I also don't feel the need to drive around. Because all my life, it's either I live in a big city with a very convenient public transportation structure, or in a jungle named Jakarta where I got to be driven around.
Well, anywho, I got my permit last week (because I thought , hey why not it's the 21st century) & starting to drive around. To make it clear, it's just a permit, so you can't drive around by yourself unless someone with a driver licence is next to you.
Well, who do you think that someone will be? Yup, that someone is my boyfriend. (hi, hunny! reading my blog?)
I hope he will still let me drive around next week with his car. I can't park at all. And I think I drove him crazy.
When I tried to park, I went back and forth maybe for 5 times. Yup. This is very embarrasing to put in my blog, but hey! Let's just amuse ourselves. At one point I said to my boyfriend, to just park the car for me. But, he wouldn't. I think he thought I should finish it.
However, I shouldn't embarrass myself even more with tiny little details, but I finally park the car (after all the frustration of whyyyyy the freaking car wouldn't go straight).
Fiiuuffhh...
Then, I turned the engine off , got off the car and gave the key to my boyfriend. I remember thinking: "Here,... you drive. I'm going to that store & shop till I drop dead".

Thankful?

Today is the day of turkey massacre.
Happy thanksgiving people!
I'm sick, got the cold, sore throat, feel nausea. Yesterday we had a snow storm (ridiculous weather). Well, yesterday was not this cold, as we all know, the day of the snow is not as cold as the few days that will follow.

It's cold now. You can really walk around the block & right away get frost bitten.
I & my roommate have been blazing the apartment with maximum heat. (Okay if you check Chicago weather, you might not find it as cold as Siberia, but... we are tropical,... very tropical).
And, my boyfriend (who promised to come) didn't come. Bailed on the last minute.
And I am supposed to feel thankful?
And let us not have anonymous comments like, you should be thankful you little twit, etc etc, because, talk to the hand, I've been there, done that. Lecture is the last thing I need, and also, I've set my blog so that everybody who comments should show his/her identity. Hah!
Sigh.... I think I'm just tired, the medicine is kicking in, so I'm tired++ (read: plus plus), sleepy, nausea (I said that already?)... and sad.
Right now, the hot air of my hometown is really really missed, preferably combined with my mom chicken soup. She's the best (Hi mom! I miss you).
Well, now come to think about it, I am thankful, even if I'm half a world away, I keep in touch with her, we talk weekly (less or more), I spend quite a lot for that, but it is worth it & somewhat a necessity. She makes my problems lighter and dark days brighter.
I'm thankful for that. I still have 1 hour till this day ends, finally I can make peace and say my thanks. Honestly, when I started this post, I wasn't about being thankful. I was in a mission of being a biatch. And I better stop here before I get biatchy again.

Jakarta Has the Biggest Mosquitos

I was home sick these past few days, and as the result I googled anything that has something to do with my home: Jakarta Indonesia.
I've been having this love-hate relationship with my home town. It's no longer safe there, and I despise the goverment, corruption, etc, but I love it. Still. Hey, however, it is the land where I grew up. And, here, I dream about home a lot!
So, I just wanna share this one link about non-Indonesian living in my country and how a culture-shock Indonesia is for them. But, see, Indonesia does grow on you after a while.
There, we have the biggest mosquitos. And even bigger after they bite us and suck our blood. So, it's either spray lots of mosquito repellent (and get ourselves killed breathing it) or get bitten by them & get itchy & swollen. It's a lose lose situation. You have to be an Indonesian to really master the way out. And that is to train the speed of your movement until it almost reach the lightning speed, to clap your hands and get the mosquito squashed in your hands. And after a while, your hands will operate by themselves, just out of reflect, they will clap mosquitos while you sit out in the living room watching TV.
Another thing about Jakarta is that your neighbor might have a rooster or two. It doesn't apply to most people, but, lucky me, my neighbor has a few. So on the wee hours everyday, they'd wake you up. Screaming on the top of their lungs.
The McDonald's there sell rice and fried chicken. And the crazy traffic (believe me, LA & NY are nothing) will drive you nuts. I ate in some very questionable small kiosks built on the pedestrian passage with, I can assure you, very dirty utensil & e-coli-inhibited ice tea. But, they have the best food. I'm not sure if my digestive system can still handle them anymore, but the next time I go home, I'll surely go back there.
They are are another million things to talk about Jakarta. It's a never ending list.
I hate the terorists there, intoxicating the mind of the uneducated people. It's a shame. It really is a shame.
But I think, I'm going home next year, to visit the roosters and re-train my hand-clapping a bit.
Besides it's been a while since I take a ride in one of these.

Viva Los Padres

A few days ago, a lightning suddenly struck my head while I was complaining to my boyfriend on how tiring my new job was. Not the job, but more of the distance that I have to get through daily, back and forth.
All this time, I've always managed to arranged my schedule and also, my previous job was mainly part time. I still had time to go out and about and just 'enjoy' life.
But this job that I have right now is the real thing. My real real, full time job.
And I was toasted.
Then reality slapped me on the face, real hard: My dad has been doing this, you know,.. working... for oh, I don't know how long. Too long!
Don't you think that most of you attached more to your mom than dad?
Not in all cases but most of you might have more bonding with your mom simply because she's around more.
But weirdly enough, some fast flashes scenarios in my head showed how my dad (this time, not my mom) worked late, went out of town for some business, etc, etc.
But I always managed to get new dresses, new watch, new cellphone, big teddy bear, etc, etc,... who paid for that? And when I'm sick, he called my mom like a thousand times a day and brought me nice stuffs back to home.
Sigh... though it's only been a week, but now I can emphatize more to how hard it is being a dad and the burden to be a bread winner & how they have to divide their time between work, kids, wife, (and their mom maybe?). When do they have time to relax? Pursue a hobby? Coz not everybody is born rich. Not all dads have all the money in the world.
So I emailed my dad. And I thanked him. Officially thanked him for all the years he spent busting his a** to be the provider. And he emailed me back, touched by my gesture and thanked me back for acknowledging that.
Sigh...
Oprah said (or maybe Oprah quoted someone) : " All the children have a hole in their heart, the shape of their fathers."
It's a tough world for dads who live on a 24-hour-a-day world and I found a whole new profound respect for them. Though it might seem like they're never around. Look around you and think of how your tuition, car, gym shoes, or nose job were paid. From whose account was that?
See...?
Then all repeat after me: Viva Los Padres.

Never Never Land, Here I Come!

Yesterday was my last day at work.
That's also the reason why I haven't been around my blog & written down anything.
Too much things happening and I just hate to whine on my blog.
I got a new job, a job that's supposedly better for my career with hm,... better pay too.
And so, yesterday I felt lousy because I actually love my job there and I loooovvveee the people I worked with. I dont' know if any of you have a boss so great like mine, but she's awesome. I don't think there will be a nicer boss in my life. Except for her weird hysteria around bird. ;)
Anyhow, it was time for me to leave and my boss gave me a card full of best wishes from everyone. My coworker made me a funny poem. And my other boss thanked me. And told me what a wonderful woman I am.
It was one of the saddest day in my life.
But ces't la vie, and life goes on.
I walked out (after I hugged mostly everybody, especially my boss), almost running and I just can't help but feel like crying.
And I walked and walked and walked until I got home. By foot!
Forget the train!
I really walked.
I went pass Chicago river, Marina tower, House of Blues, Chicago Avenue... until I arrived at my apartment lobby.
And just a little note: I wore heels. Though they are not stilettos, you've got to give me credit for that.

I needed closure, I guess, to the nice atmosphere of downtown chicago and the thought that I might not be able to be around it for a long time just sadden me. Well, yes I'll still gonna live downtown, but I'll commute to never never land everyday.
Sigh... never never land, so so far away.
What a high price to pay for such career ambition.