Monday, July 27, 2009

The Crystal Merchant Inspired Me Not To End Up Like Him

I just finished The Alchemist last week. Part of my New Year Resolution, the 2009 one, if anyone wonders, is to find a hobby. A hobby other than slouching on the couch and watch TV until it's time to go to bed.
And hence the reading.

I love fables.
And though I don't really 100% agree with what Coelho said in that book, I appreciate his work.
The book is somewhat a reality bitch-slap for me though.
I do have a job.
But is it really something that I want to do?
In the book (okay,... spoiler alert for those who want to read the Alchemist, but haven't), there was a old crystal merchant who have a shop. A long time ago, when he was young, being the devoted Moslem that he is, he always wanted to go to Mecca. But he thought that he wanted to work and be rich first so that he can afford a trip to Mecca.
It was tens of years ago and every year he sees people passing by with their caravans, going to Mecca. Even people who were poorer than him.
Their faces were happy. Because they were going to Mecca.
And now he's old, and all his life, the one thing that keeps him going is the thought that one day he will go to Mecca, but now that he can afford it, he is afraid.
If he goes to Mecca, then after that, what would he be looking forward to in life?

I don't want to be that old man.

I want to go to my 'Mecca', as early as I can.
Why wait? I don't even know if I am still breathing tomorrow.
Well, hopefully I will. I have an early and important meeting with some clients.

I need to figure out what I want in life. Is being an IT whore (pardon my curse) really what I want to do? Is it what I aspired to be?

I have a friend who was just diagnosed with Lymphoma. It is basically a type of cancer. She called me and told me the biopsy result and instead of consoling her, I bursted into tears, I was so heartbroken. She's such a sweetheart. She was the one who then consoled me (nice going, Bluecactus).
But it got me think about life, and how uncertain it is. And I have been counting my blessings ever since and try to be positive. And it is hard, you know, because complaining is so darn easy. When you have an idiot as a boss, for example. (Insert smiley face).

But I am not waiting anymore. I want to live life to the fullest. It doesn't mean, clubbing every night, drink, try all the illegal drugs, swing from a stripper pole. But to live right, to take care of my own mental and physical health.
Plan to execute my forgotten life goals.
Do charity. try to be kind, be patient, be strong, be wise.
Live, love, laugh, people often say.
Then hopefully at the end of the day, I will have no regrets.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

They Are BACK! In Full Blast Nonetheless

My mom and dad is coming to visit me again.
Yes, they will arrive tomorrow. I will pick them up, drive them home, give them my room and entertain them for a whole month.
I will retreat to the guest room. I can't put them in the guest room, it's next to ChicagoDimCorner's room and my dad snores like there's no tomorrow.
They'll be back home on the 3rd of August.
I already counted, it's 24 days of full interaction.

Twenty four days.

I am an introvert. I really value my time alone without interaction with other human beings, and I'm so terrified that I will go crazy with constant human interaction 24/7. I need my alone time to read books, to wind down, to reset my sanity which everyday got shattered by the outrageous lunacy which unfortunately I have to interact with.
And my mom would burst into my room in the morning declaring that the breakfast is ready. I'm weeping inside just thinking about it.

It is actually kinda surprising to see that my parents cannot cope well as empty-nesters. I would think that they would blow us, the kids, kisses and say "Toodles, kids, we're going around the world in a full year, or two, eat caviar, sunbathing at the beach. Don't wait up!" But, apparently not. Sadly said, in their mind, I have been the same 17 year-old daughter of them. I have been seventeen for the past 15 years.

My mom said, "When I visited you last December, I saw the bathrobe you have was the old one that you have been having for years. I'm going to buy you a new one and bring it to Chicago."
Sigh...
"Huh? What's wrong with it, Mom? It's fine, I never use it anyway and I can buy it myself. Don't bring me anything, travel in style, travel light."

And last week, she just suggested that I have a prenupt before getting married, which confuses me because I'm not rich, and I don't have any weathly, sickly old relative who favors me tremendously.
Also, does she think that I have a big chance to have a divorce?
I'm trying to be in her shoes and think of reasons why she would think that I need one.
"Hm,... this kid of mine has always been the unstable one, always use feelings never logic. I need to step in."
Or, "This ChicagoDimCorner looks like a crook, and he's marrying my daughter, I better tell her to separate her assets."
Or, "It looks like it's the 'in' thing to do these days for young couple, so-and-so kids are doing it, her cousin did it, eeehhh... maybe I'll tell her to do the same."
I know she meant well.
But I'm just,... you know... speechless.
I finally said, I think about it.
And I hope this will never come up again.