105 years

Both my dogs are sick, and I'm so damn worried because, they're like my babies. The doctor has diagnosed one of them of a heart problem, and I don't know what's wrong about the other one yet. I pray to God, please God, if you have to take them, don't make them suffer beforehand. Let them die in their sleep and preferably after a very good meal. I am devestated now because I forgot to kiss them goodbye before I went back here. I was late and just stormed out with my luggages without giving them a hug and a kiss.This apparently has become a habbit, the storming out without kissing them goodbye.
I know it's about time because 15 years times 7 dog year yields 105 years (my my, aren't we old.) and I should be prepared, and yet, I am not.
They have gone through most (if not all) adolecense period of my life, including the period when I cried behind closed door for whatever reasons.
They have also barked on all of my exes, become friends with them and forgot about them because I broke up with them. Boy, they should've barked some more. The irony is, they haven't barked on my future husband yet. The one that they should've really barked on then made friends with.
Despite that, I don't wish them to have longer and longer life, I don't know if they are tired of it anymore, being sick like that, I just wish them a peaceful 'let-go'. And I will deal my pain when they leave. And eventually I will be fine, as long as they leave without suffering.
I hope God forgive the white one, for all the mice she had killed in the past. I think it's the only form of recreation one can have behind 6 foot high fences. And also forgive the black one, for all the human calves he had sinked his teeth in. No, wait, that was also the white one.
Of all my life, they are the creatures that have given me the kind of unconditional adoration and love and forever I will look back and cherish every single lick they have given me, as stinky as it might be.
Sigh...
And just now, the pain starts crawling in my chest and I just want to bury my face in my pillows.