I guess after doing some impromptu soul searching I found out I don't really miss home.
I just need to save myself from being this corporate bitch and gain my self respect back and get me a new job. I don't do well with office politics. I hate it.
Yeah...
That's it. It's a weird conclusion, I know, but I have the long explanation that you might not really care much about.
And don't ask me what I mean by it, I am too spiteful right now to even think about it.
It weird though how I started to gain my sanity back. It all started in Galena about a month ago when I went to some cute stores that sells cute useless stuff. I always thought that 99.99% of them are junks. But over there, I read a quote from Mary Anne Radmacher, whoever that lady is: "Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is."
Let's see:
Live with intention. Checked.
Walk to the edge. Not checked. What does it means anyway? What if someone is afraid of height?
Listen Hard. Checked, at least I thought I tried.
Practice wellness. Not checked.
Play with abandon. Undecided. Again... what is it that we are talking here? Hm,... you know what. Unchecked.
Laugh. Checked, big time. I love comedy. I even laugh at past tragedy. Right roomie? Tragedy + time = comedy.
Choose with no regret. Checked. I don't do regrets.
Appreciate your friends. Checked. Someone doesn't think so? We'll talk.
Continue to learn. Checked!
Do what you love. UNCHECKED!!!!! That's when I realized. That's when it all began. Bitch slap to my sanity.
Live as if this is all there is. Well,... sigh... sadly unchecked.
And looking at the summary above.
I'm not well. I can't even check 'practice wellness'.
I looked back and thought that I would've checked that one in the past.
Being an adult changes you. Sometimes to the better, but sometimes... not really.
But I'm glad I introspected myself and saw my life in perspective again and start doing something about it. Thank God I haven't lost it.
"Seize the moment! Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart." - Erma Bombeck
10 comments:
Whad do you love to do anyway? Definitely not your job I guess...
I once argue with my boss that, when people keep changing job, they haven't done what they love. My argument is: It is never be someone I love to do when money being involved. Summary: Whatever I do for money, it would never be things that I love.
I guess things are a little bit harder for me, but I wish you a better luck.
Glad to know you've sorted it out. bluecactus.
I think scal's question is a bit.
The thing is I think what one would love to do might not necessarily be the same as what one can afford to do and what one is capable of doing, for example.
Just recently, I found myself wishing for a second that I had stuck with my childhood dream to be an architect (that and a professional photographer).
Now that we're at it though, what exactly would you like to do, bluecactus?
Well,...
I don't really refer to a specific dream job. If it is, then my dream job would be to open a nice cafe with great decor and great music with massive income. Hah! :) Or I want to be the jury of Iron Chef program.
I guess I want to be able to have a job that I can really be good at. With a boss that can appreciate me.
And that I don't have to kill myself just to keep up with insane expectations. And I would love to have a job that I don't bring home.
I think, a good job is if you can sit in your desk, feeling comfortable without being afraid that a coworker will stab you in the back.
Hm,...
OK... I'm gonna stop right here. It has become a bit personal. :)
office politic sucks!!
i guess whatever we do for a living, there is always gonna b someone who will try to stab our back.....but imo, it is easier to fight backstabbers than to fight our own conscience...so, stay true to urself...
n perhaps it's time u consider the posibilities of being ur own boss?
at least u'll b able to scratch off the 'unappreciative boss with insane expectations' part...
hehe...
btw, that is a very interesting quote, let me check my own list?
live with intention....checked....it doesn't have anything to do with money so i guess some people thought i don't have one....
walk to the edge....not checked....sadly (or fortunately? ^^;) i still have to consider my parents expectations to a certain extent...
listen hard...checked...i dare anyone to deny this hehe...
practice wellness...am trying to...
play with abandon....not checked....probably will never be checked...i don't do abandon...
laugh...checked...love to laugh, love to make others laugh ^^
choose with no regret....checked....regrets belong to the same category as panic attacks in my book, unefficient, uneffective n unproductive...
do what u love....hell, yeah...checked!
live as if this is all there is...checked ^_^
not bad i guess...
Oh Nad, you know me very well! That's what I was thinking: One day, I'm gonna be my own boss and I'm gonna be a good one.
BTW, you've got yourself a good score there :), sigh... at least one of us is well.
Roomie,
Just recently, I was commenting to a classmate of mine on how I found some of the local office politics stories I have heard rather intimidating. He then reminded me that it is part and parcel of working life, that politics happens everywhere.
I think he couldn't be more right on.
Even you are your own boss one day, the minute that you have to juggle all the various demands while managing your employees and probably handling some conflicts, either internal or external,... voila: POLITICS!
Even more so when you are trying to be a good boss, I believe.
The reason I'm saying this?
Being much closer to home nowadays has forced me to cautiously watch my political correctness and diplomacy policy,....... within the family.
I really wish this is not the case, but unfortunately I think we're stuck, roomie. As long as we're still humans and we are dealing with humans, I suppose.
I have seen kids at school who do not want to be seen hanging out or even being associated in any way with those who are perceived as "uncool". I think most of us have been introduced to politics and in a way probably forced to play the game in one way or another, even at a very early age and I'm afraid we might have to continue playing it, whether we like it or not.
Don't you think so?
i think its not that you dont like office politics or politics in general. because anywhere you go where there is human interaction, then you will face a process of decision making or politics.
what you dont like is kissing someone's behind especially a dark-indian-food-smelly behind.
Thanks, darling, for making it very graphic.
Sniff sniff...
"Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse. " - Bridget Jones' Diary
What make a good boss? Someone who didn;'t give an insane target? That who defines the insane target? The employee? Then what about if the target is simply worse from your competitor, or jsut doesn't make any profit?
I must agree with Chocoholic though, that as long as there are human interaction, there always be politics, negotiation, making compromise, take and give, whatever you name it.
Sad.... but true....
A good boss is the kind who knows how to appreciate someone's hard work & effort.
This is a job, I know, not a date where everyone should behave their best.
Office politics will always follow you where ever you go. I know that the moment I set foot into my first job here. As a sushi waitress.
Don't think I don't play it.
The problem is if you have become a bit too involved in it.
Hence,... the conscience.
I guess, like Nadia, we both have experienced it in a massive & harsh portion, which leads to our disgust against office politics.
There's a limit to everything.
My message is: do what you have to do, but too much of anything, is not a good thing
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