Earth day

I bet you know that 'Mercy Mercy Me' by Marvin Gaye is a song about ecology and how mankind abuse it. Well, every time I hear the song, there's a part of it that reminds me of the all the sushi I ate, all the pollution I've sucked in and the land being commercialized for the new, the better, the bigger, the higher highrises.

I'm not the green-peace kind of person, but I do love nature and its habitat.

It is so sad to see the earth is going down being abused by mankind.
So, to honor Earth day, when Scarlett was ever so dirty yesterday, I didn't go to the car wash place & bathe her.
Besides, I've always been trying not to use air conditioning as much as I can, or let the water runs when I brush my teeth. And thanks to my boyfriend, I recycle paper waste now.

I'm kinda a pessimist at times, and i know that my contribution might be meaningless at all compared to all the damage done at the same time. But, heck, that's something I think I can do. And that makes me feel slightly better.

"...
Where did all the blue skies go?
Poison is the wind that blows from the north and south and east
Woo mercy, mercy me, mercy father
Ah things ain't what they used to be, no no
Oil wasted on the ocean and upon our seas, fish full of mercury
Ah oh mercy, mercy me
...
Radiation under ground and in the sky
Animals and birds who live nearby are dying
...
What about this overcrowded land
How much more abuse from man can she stand?
..."

A gal pal is on the search

It hit me today, that I no longer has girlfriend bonding to any females, except for my coworkers (doesn't count) and my mom (also doesn't count).
My roommate moved a year ago back to the other side of the world. I moved out from my 'hood and my friends.
And now, I have no girlfriends.
I mean, I have girlfriends, but not the one that I can physically meet up easily for Sunday brunch or something.
And now, I haven't called my boyfriend since afternoon, I don't know where he is, I think his cellphone is dead and he told me that he's going to be out but I think his business is not done yet.
Then, it dawn to me, that my boyfriend has been bearing the double duty as my galpal.
Although, I don't exactly push him to go into Victoria Secret spent hours there.

And besides, I think sometimes I got the feeling that he doesn't really 'get it' when I talked about some issues, like my bitching out about how my day went, or when I was being PMSy and sensitive and cranky. But he does try to fill that role.
But now I'm wondering if I'm pushing my luck too far.
And if he has too much of me.

I guess I'll never know, because he would say no. And I would always wonder if that's the truth.

Ideally, I should find some girlfriends. And I should run an ad, just like those people in craigslist.org.
And when I manage to stir the courage to do so, I imagine the ad should say something like this:
Looking for a gal pal, who's witty, bitchy, spunky. Doesn't like boy bands. Likes to eat out and doesn't count calories on everything. Non smoker, loves autumn and animals. A good listener, a good debater and opinionated, in a good way.
Only need a liiiiittle time to dress up, take a shower and put on the make up.
Likes watching TV. Have good knowledge on pop culture. Must dislike Bush.
Not a fashion victim, and most importantly can distinguish the stupid chick-flicks and the high quality ones.
P.S. Doesn't have Damsel in distress syndrome. Superwoman syndrome is higly welcomed.

How about that?

Tom Attack Reloaded

Eeeeeeng...
Man!
Apparently, if your life is touched by television, internet, radio and or newspapers, I BETCHA by now you already know that the Tom & Katie's baby was born yesterday.
It was allll over the news. I really can feel the deja vu attack back in the time when they first got together and did the same damage to my couch-potato time.
Sigh... anyway, I'm sticking with home and garden channel for a few days before I dare to move back to E entertainment.
I mean, who cares if Katie is having a 'silent birth'? Or if that very same day at the very same hospital, Brooke Shields (Tom's rivalry when it comes down to anti-depressant drugs) also delivered her baby.
See?
Do you see that?
I don't want to know about this, and yet, sadly, I do.
Why?
Because I've been shoved all this information from everywhere.
Is it really a rating booster?
Does people really want to know what the baby's name means in Hebrew?
Anyway... I need another hobby besides watching TV.
Knitting?
Bingo?
Any ideas?

Guilty. I voted for American Idol

I voted for Elliot Yamin. Upon request from my best girlfriend back in Indonesia.
Yep, shameless as a starstruck teenager, I dialed and dialed, until my boyfriend called me and I got distracted.
I voted for 14 times (or so) and I already felt like I have contributed a lot for the dude.
And he still got to the bottom three.
What a voter gotta do?
Anyway, you see, I don't usually vote.
I don't vote for American Idol, I don't want to be in the crowd. Be generic. Join the hype. This is so not like me, the ignorant, antisocial, careless, cynical bitch.
But this guy, he is okay.
And what made me easily agreed to vote for him is one simple fact.
About maybe 5-6 weeks ago, he sang Moody's Mood.
That's it. One of my favorite songs in this planet (search it, it's worth your time, or send me a message I will send it to you).
So, anyone who sang the whole song of Moody's mood and succeeded without being pitchy, deserves my vote.
Because I know from the many times I sang that song in the shower.
I sucked!
That song is hard to sing.

Anyhow, though, here is my reality check about American Idol: Elliot Yamin will not win. Why? Because he is not bad-boyish, handsome or tall enough.
Can he sing?
Yes, he damn well can, and so does Mendisa in this matter, who got booted off last week.
But should this be a contest about singing talent?
No, this is a thug of war contest of whose fans' fingers dial the fastest.
Plus, I know that there's a community whose whole purpose is to vote the worst singers. Maybe that's why that juvenile contestant who looks like Chicken Little lasted that far.
So who might win? It doesn't matter.
I think who will win is FOX Network Executives.
And Cingular as the phone network provider.
And I'm one of the victims, who next week will still be voting again, as appreciation for the singer of Moody's Mood, even though it might not matter at all.

To see the 'moody's mood' performance: click here

My very own JFK Jr.

Never in my romance life would I thought that my parents who have very high expectation to all to the boyfriends I have had (which, by the way, not much), would approve a guy to marry me.
This topic might seem a little jaded since I've been engaged for almost a year now. But I have had the hardest time with them since their first reaction to all of them has always been the same, which is: NO. We do not approve.
My parents wished someone stable for me, independent, a gentleman, love me obsessively, faithful, a Catholic, have short hair (I once had a boyfriend with long hair, I didn't like it, but apparently, my mom hated it even more), came from a nice family, well-educated, good-look is a plus, preferably a little bit older than me (and by the way, I've never dated anyone older than me, isn't weird?), and so on, and so on.
I remember telling my roommate once, with that criteria, then I might have a chance if I date John F Kennedy Jr. But he got lost in the sea. Plus he's married anyway. And, I'm not sure if he loves me obsessively since we never met, and the faithful part is kinda questionable.
Then, came my fiance, he is not even Catholic (gasssppp!!), he's a few months younger than me (that's strike two already), and many more questions were risen.
But, after all the commotion, and they met on Summer 2004, I don't know how he won them, but now, when they sends gifts from Indonesia, he gets more stuff then me.
My dad sends text messages to him every once in a while. My mom asks about him all the time.
I mean, how the heck does that happen?
It seems like they are very fond of him.
Like yesterday, they sent him 2 shirts, 4 Adidas hats, a Brazil soccer wrist band, and what do I get?
Nutin'
Nada.
Zero.
I think I'm going to veto the wrist band.
Apparently, he is my parents' version of John F Kennedy Jr.

Let me be a loner

I notice that I have turned into a total antisocial. Especially since I don't have a roommate and I don't have any friends in the area, now that I'm in the suburb.
And I find it amazing how I don't feel the urge to find new friends. I'm most comfortable with the friends I have downtown (and half around the world), which by the way are very very few. And I don't even get in touch with them that much at all.

A friend, who is the most enthusiastic in introducing me with his friends is almost in a desperate - if not angry - state because I always refuse to come to their get together.
Why does he insist on me meeting them?
It is my right not the be pushed around being introduced to people while I don't feel the thrill or the enjoyment to meet them. Some people like meeting new friends and, hey, more power to them if they do, but that's not me.
Do I sound arrogant?
But think about it. Being arrogant is if I don't want to meet them because I feel superior and I think that my 'level' is above them. Which I do not.
I think they are just fine. I just have a very huge personal bubble.
I wish more people would just understand and let me be.
And please don't call me strange.

I try to analyze if I'm scared of meeting new people. The thing is I don't think so.
I went to social events when I want to. If a friend is having a baby shower, or a Christmas party, or if there's food involved, and I feel like going, then I'd go. I arranged the chinese new year's eve dinner with of my friends, though I (and my boyfriend) were the only two who were celebrating. So I really think I'm fine.
I'm just a person who really enjoys spending her free time not interacting too much with other human beings.
I'm a loner.
And I am happy of who I am.

Kentucky Fried Cruelty

Isn't it sad that one of my guilty pleasure food is Kentucky Fried Chicken, who happens to be one of the most hated fast food by PETA (google it if you don't know who they are)? I just read how they handle the chicken and I was shocked to the core. The abuse of the chicken is totally beyond believe. How the heeeeeelllll do they do it? Removing the beak off the chicken so that they won't attack each other and slitting the throat while they are still concious and are able to feel the pain.
And they freaking scald the chicken alive in tanks of HOT WATER.
O my God.
Are they freaking crazy????
I let a lady bug live in my apartment on winter though I'm phobic to flying bugs, while they are playing Texas Chainsaw Massacre with the chicken.
If you believe in reincarnation, don't you start to wonder what the next life will be for those farm slaughter house operators? I'm putting my money on them born as a KFC chick.
Karma is a bitch.
I'm not eating meat tomorrow.
And though not intentionally, I didn't eat meat the whole day today. I'm so proud of myself. One baby step at a time.

For full story, go here and weep: http://www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com/kfcsays.asp

105 years

Both my dogs are sick, and I'm so damn worried because, they're like my babies. The doctor has diagnosed one of them of a heart problem, and I don't know what's wrong about the other one yet. I pray to God, please God, if you have to take them, don't make them suffer beforehand. Let them die in their sleep and preferably after a very good meal. I am devestated now because I forgot to kiss them goodbye before I went back here. I was late and just stormed out with my luggages without giving them a hug and a kiss.This apparently has become a habbit, the storming out without kissing them goodbye.
I know it's about time because 15 years times 7 dog year yields 105 years (my my, aren't we old.) and I should be prepared, and yet, I am not.
They have gone through most (if not all) adolecense period of my life, including the period when I cried behind closed door for whatever reasons.
They have also barked on all of my exes, become friends with them and forgot about them because I broke up with them. Boy, they should've barked some more. The irony is, they haven't barked on my future husband yet. The one that they should've really barked on then made friends with.
Despite that, I don't wish them to have longer and longer life, I don't know if they are tired of it anymore, being sick like that, I just wish them a peaceful 'let-go'. And I will deal my pain when they leave. And eventually I will be fine, as long as they leave without suffering.
I hope God forgive the white one, for all the mice she had killed in the past. I think it's the only form of recreation one can have behind 6 foot high fences. And also forgive the black one, for all the human calves he had sinked his teeth in. No, wait, that was also the white one.
Of all my life, they are the creatures that have given me the kind of unconditional adoration and love and forever I will look back and cherish every single lick they have given me, as stinky as it might be.
Sigh...
And just now, the pain starts crawling in my chest and I just want to bury my face in my pillows.

These past weeks I'm busy like crazy at work. I wish I have more time to send news to my friends and family, but what can I say? I'm a work slave. This will be over next week though and the 'torch' will be passed to another victim to do the 'weekend and night on-call' rotation.
I've been thinking about all the things I need to catch up to live up to that "Work hard play harder" phrase. He he he (cunning laugh).

Anyway, I have been lobbying my way to my parents on my wedding, especially the particular battle about how many guests to invite. She wanted a total of a thousand guests, and I nearly fainted when I first heard it.
I bid for 5 hundred max. Including our humongous extended family members. Let me tell you something quite frankly, I have more aunts than uncles just because most of my uncles got married more than once. And that, my friend, is why I have so many relatives (aside from the fact that contraceptives were not easily accessible at that time,... I guess).

So, after months and months of not talking about the wedding, the topic crawled up and my mom was actually warming up about the idea of 500 people and started to see my point of view, because I told her, I'd rather have small one but full of people I know than a big one with people I've never seen in my life. I want it to be personal and memorable.
Thinking that this problem was solved, I emailed my dad for him to start doing his guest list. and his reply was: No problem, I'll invite my business friends, so I think we're good for about a thousand people.
Oy...!

Even the demon spitted it out

Let me tell you a story about a demon that bit my mom's hand.
The story goes like this: A demon approached my mom, and then out of the blue he just bit her hand, ... wait, I think it's her arm instead.
Then he chewed it a bit, but then spit it out.
He grumbled: "Ugh,... it's not tasty!"
And then he left.
And my mom woke up.

And hence the story about my mom got bitten by a bloody ass demon.

So I told her that she needs to eat more fatty food and gain weight, she's so fat-less that there is no juice in her meat.

'Almost' is the keyword

I almost got hit by a car over the weekend, and that was my fault.
I didn't even look in the mirror when going out from my parking spot.
That's what I do when I'm emo.
Total self destruction.
I was having fight with my boyfriend that time just because I was stubborn and short tempered and took his sincere gesture as something negative.
Damn this PMS!
But, really though, I gotta tell you, parking is crappy in downtown. Why do they cost so much, and why does it have very little parking spaces? And when they provide you some, they put this sign with a list of restrictions and some twist hoping that you would fail to fully crack the code and break the rule and they can tow your car for you to pay $210.
And why does every freaking car in Chicago drive like a maniac?
And when you signal to change lane they speed up to make sure that you can't get in.
And I despise those crazy drivers who honk the exact moment the light turns green.
That is my pet peeve. I really want to stop right there and then, just for the sake of pissing him back.

I told my boyfriend, seriously, that I should bring the driving manual, (you know, the one issued by the State) with me when I drive, so I can wave it around and yell "Read this!" when someone cut my lane without signalling, or do whatever stupidity that I might come across on the road.
But, he laughed out loud and made me laughed too and now I feel like a loony whenever I bring the topic. He killed my idea.

Then, last weekend I almost got into an accident. So, for all fairness, I think I should wave it to myself.

Back to the fight, well, for those who know me very very well, I am short tempered and very drama-queenish, but I can't stay mad for a too long of a period of time (unless it's really disgustingly bad, then yeah, you don't want to press my button). Besides, my boyfriend's soft spot is happened to be...
me.
So, it was over before we even get back to the suburb.

We're so good at ending a fight, it's almost like we have lots of practice, when we actually don't.

Anyway, presentations were over today, I was just glad and went directly to Trader Joe's. What a recreation.

VP in underwear

What am I doing up this early on the weekend?
I'm stressed out, that why.
And when I am all stressed out, I can't sleep well, and don't really eat.
Yeah, a great way to lose my weight, while I, unlike most female, don't want to be skinny. (I'm weird, yeah, old news)

I have two presentations to the client next week, each is an hour, back to back.
I hate presentations because I hate talking in public, especially when the public is the senior VPs of my future employers. And the thing about talking in public, let alone remembering to picture the audience in underwear, standing up there and facing them with a confident expression (or pretend to have one) is hard by itself.

I asked my boyfriend to be my guinea pig and listen to my presentation and let me know what I'm lacking of. Despite his professed love to me, he said, "Honey, I most likely will fall asleep. Every time I hear a presentation, I fell a sleep."
Hmmmm,... that's true.
He can drop his adrenaline every time someone starts preaching, teaching, presenting, giving speeches or anything that involving long explanation.

And, man,... now all of a sudden I remember that I have other assignments besides this one and might ended up 11 days of 'holding the fort' (long & boring story, you don't wanna know).

I need to reward myself once all commotion is over.

Oh... but, I can't. I haven't done my tax yet.

I need another vacation. One where I won't get dragged around like those cans attached at the back of a car with the sign: Just Married.

Consumerism Day

I almost forgot it's Valentine's Day if not because my boyfriend sent me a text message in the morning saying Happy V Day.
Awww... he's nice that way.
Valentine's Day is a Consumerism Day. Not that I against it, but I just can't appreciate it much for some unknown reasons.
Maybe it's a culture thing, or maybe I'm just a sceptic, or maybe I just don't feel like going to an overcrowded restaurant and the waitress is so busy that he/she can't even serve us properly and after that I have to pay double for the meal.
And also I don't like roses. Especially the red ones.
Too many petals, and they're thorny.
Anyway, my boyfriend gave me some pink tulips though, which is nice and more than enough.It was funny because he literally asked me for hints of what I want for Valentine's day & I told him, some tulips maybe nice, but please don't overspend.
We should not yield to the consumerism day!
We have consumed a lot anyway for no apparent reason all throughout the year, not just Feb 14th, so why should this day any better than the rest, consumerism wise.
Spare the card, I don't need it. Don't mistake me for being cheap, but honestly I never know what to do with card after I read it. Do you keep it? Or throw it away?
Please, someone, enlighten me.
And he stopped by that evening & we had dinner together ( frozen food, I don't cook this week, I'm busy) and with me in my PJ, we watched DVD.
It was nice. It was no difference than any other day we've been having all this time.
So what does that say?
(Can I be corny for a second? No? Are you sure?)
Well, what the heck, it's my blog, if you don't like it, you have to just bear it.
That means, that I think I found my (wink wink wink) couch potato partner for life.
Ain't love grand?

Chika Boom

My 'Great Expectations' DVD just came today.
JOOOOOYYY JOOOOOYYYY!!!
I had some DVD marathon this afternoon since I got the early shift this week and I can go home at 3 PM. Isn't it great walking out from the office where the sun is still shining oh so bright and I got to wear my sunglasses. Sigh, I look good in them. (heh heh, a bit of a narcissistic moment there).

That movie still amazes me. Just like I can never get over Amelie (and for that I have the real size movie poster of it). That old lady Dinsmoor. She is scary beyond belief.
But... funny that I just said that, because,... as I stared at her, she looked like my grandma.
The way that her face is always polished and made up. Hair shiny, full of volume.
Like she's always ready for the red carpet or something.
The way Dinsmoor sounded and talked also reminded me of her,not to mention her grin, the teeth, and bright lipstick. Uncanny.
Uhm,... BTW, yes, my grandma was a fashionista.

The movie is great. I always think so. And after this afternoon, I still do.

Is it possible to love someone after that person broke your heart, left you (several times), lead you on then left again? And everything you do, is the reflection of one goal, which is to win her.

Love does make people do stupid things, but it sure is good to watch them do it when you're laying on the couch eating cake when you know that all of your coworkers are still in the office, typing their code away.

P.S. You won't understand what the title means until you actually see the movie. So that's a homework, guys. Especially to you, Hunny.

Bored to Death

I don't know where else to go around here.
I was extremely excited when I found Trader Joe's in the neighborhood. That I looked at myself thinking how pathetic I was, excited over a grocery store.
When I turned left from my apartment I find a mall, when I turn left, same thing, another mall.
And,...
THAT'S IT!
Haven't found a club around here yet. I don't think I will. We went out to some rather nicer restaurants and the crowds are old people driving Mercedes smelling like my Grandma's favorite perfume.
And that Chicago skyline silhouette from afar just make me even more mad.

Oh anyway, changing the subject, let me tell you a story about a guy I met at work, we passed each other by in the hallway or beverage bar, whatever, and said hi and do the standard "How are you today? - I'm fine thank you how about you - I'm doing okay -Good -Good - See you later - Okay see you around" routine. Now his project is done and he's out, and sent me an email on his last day, and has been emailing me since. Asking about trivial unimportant things like "You don't talk much and seem shy at work are you really shy or do you act in the moment?"
I might be this miss Dorky van Doofus but I think this guy thinks that he has a shot.
I want to scream back at him saying something like " I seemed shy because I DON'T KNOW YOUUUUU!"
"And also my mom told me not to talk to strangers, unless they give you candy and offer you a ride home" Nope, just kidding.
Sigh...
However, usually the mere mention of boyfriend will do the trick, if not, then the term boyfriend will be fiance. And if that doesn't work, then wedding bells will have to do, and if not then I'd just tell him that my dad is the sheriff. He wouldn't know that my dad, even if he is a sheriff, which, he is not, is half a world away.
Oh! Speaking of Sheriff, I saw the sheriff's car every so often in my neighborhood, I begin to think that he lives around here. Not that it has anything to do with anything. But... that song "I shot the sheriff" popped out every time I saw his car and it's kinda annoying because that tune would stick in my head for the whole day.

Babies Attack

Gracious God.
It seems like everyone just had a baby or expecting a baby.
Babies everywhere.
Babies babies babies.
Wow...
Even Angelina Jolie is expecting one.
Babies seems unreal, especially if they are your friends'.
That's right.
Your friends who you used to spend time with during high school. Or college. When you know their previous affairs, stupid exes, silly crushes.
You know them when their hair was all frizzy. Eyebrows unplugged, we share the ladies room changing gym outfits.
Or for the guy friends, you know them from their skinny days, and you know all of their crazy exes, until the day they run ever so excitedly to you about this new chick they fall in love with and you'd think, okay heeeeere we goooo, another girlfriend. I hope this one is saner than the one before. And they finally made the right decisions and picked a very good quality of "fish in the sea."
Wow,...
And now, babies.
Well, parents, or future parents, I only have one advise.
You guys all know my real name, and my name is a pretty one (I always think so.... he he).
So, here is the advise: If you have a girl, think of my name and how pretty it is.
Think really hard.
Then make the right decision.
Wink!

To you who just gave me the great news, you know who you are.
Congratulations from Auntie Blue Cactus.
I'm sooo happy for you.

The World is Never Fair

It's been a very heavy week for me. My boss pulled me aside and talked about the re-alignment that the office is secretly doing. And the bad news was that two of my co-workers (whose level is below me) won't make it.
Now, my boss revealed that another project deal was in the making and most likely, he could save one of them. But he couldn't save both.

I put on my best poker face. Or should I say, I tried my best not to hyperventilate and pass out, because one of them is a friend of mine. I recommended him this job and he's not even there for two months just yet. And he's about to be let go within a month.
So, I breathed in and out like a fish out in the air and did my best to listen to my boss laying out the delicate situation that we're in at the moment.
I only caught a bit more than half of the whole situation. too bad I couldn't say "Encore, please?"

Then came his question: "Who should I save?"
I looked at my boss like an idiot. Is he asking me?
Quick! Quick!
Think of something!
I've got to act like I'm being objective but 'leaning' enough to my friend so my boss would think that he should choose him.
Uhm,...
Damn it! Say something!
Then, the other co-worker's face came flashing in my mind and I remembered that she just bought herself a house and borrowed money from the bank.
Arrghhh...

But still, if I had to choose, I'd choose my friend. He's a dear dear friend, the kind of friend who's been saving my ass over the years. He (along with my roommate) were the first persons that I saw in the airport when I first got here. He's been lifting my stuff, boxes, furniture, and God-knows-what-else everytime I decided to move from apartment to apartment. He'd stay up late to help me do those sucky programming homeworks. And if I list of of the other favor he's done for me, then this blog can be a very long one.

Yeah,.. I owe him that much, and even more.

So I took a deep breath and started to voice my opinion on both of them and who I think should be saved.
I feel crappy, and I feel bad, but the world is never fair and if I can save only one, then my friend's hand is the one I'd grab.

Arghhhh...
So many things I want so say in this blog,... yet! I'm always sleepy these days. After I came back here, I just don't understand why I would feel tired at 9-10 pm and wake up at 7 in the morning.
That's about 10-9 hours!
You know what they say: the older you get, the more sleep you need. But I thought that saying is only for the elderly.
That's it!
I know.
I'm going down the hill.
I'm old. I should start referring guys as 'young men' and ask them to help me go across the street.
Sigh...
And I found a few fine lines right below my eyes. On the outer rings of my eyes.
I got so worried that I got all my moisturizers out and applied them really generously.
I have back pain too.
I'm forgetful too.
Wait,... nah.. I've always been forgetful.
Just like my boyfriend. We're a great match, nobody remembers things or appointments or where we put our stuff.
Should be interesting to see what'll happen if one day we get married and live in the same house.
Anyway, I'm out. This is midnight and I can't even remember my name anymore.

Okay, since I have sorted out my sleeping schedule, and working schedule and eating schedule, it's time to look back and say "What the hell happened on that trip?!!".

The last memory of the whole thing was my boyfriend loading my luggage into his car and I just sat in the front seat, all tired, with sore throat, no make-up, messy hair, smelling like stinky gym shoes.

So,... as far as memory goes, here's Jakarta in a nutshell:
It's humid. My hair was big and frizzy there.
I kept my promise not to read the newspaper and I literally pointed that out to my dad,... but somehow, he always tried to fill me in on the day-by-day chaos that's going on there. That tofu is full of formalin, and so is anchovies. damn it! I rather not know that because anchovies is one of the delicious delicacy food in my life.
Not to mention all the sad economical & political situation.

The tv shows there sucks!
SUCKS big time!
I call all them as the country's intelligence degrading process. For all we know, the next generation of women there will long to find handsome gorgeous husbands who're crazy about them, have tons of money and they will live happily ever after, doing nothing but raising child after child, spending time going to hair saloon and malls and buy expensive useless things and watch Korean/Taiwan dramas every evening.
Ugh. Sigh... please pardon my cynicism. Can't help it.

I went to MANGO sale and found nothing there. I can't see what the fuss is all about. People were so ready to line up and spent their money for things that in my opinion were so not worth the price. There's, however, a gorgeous green dress that I tried but it is so low cut at the front that my bra is even higher than the dress itself.
I wasted my precious time in MANGO. I'm not going there again.

Okay, now, I can really go on and on AND ON, about the baaaaad things going on there, but I'm going to move on to the good stuff.
Indonesian food is da bomb! Ups... shouldn't say 'bomb' in a sentence together with the word 'Indonesia'. Delicate topic. But, I had maybe the best meals in such a long time. Nothing compared to them, especially not burgers. Huh! And I can't belieeeeve I bought pretty sandals in Bali for only 4 bucks. They might as well give them to me for free.
The weather is nice, polluted, but nice. Humid, but still nice.
And Bali is still gorgeous as ever & I went back here telling my boyfriend that we should go there the next time we go back home.
I have become a sentimental fool there, I make sure I played with my nephews, even though they are really testing my patience at times, so they'll have memory of me. And I' wont' be this aunt who's never been around.
I took lots of pictures, I saw my parents were growing old and the fact created pain in my chest. Though they are well, I think I need to rearrange my future plans or one day, I might regret that I don't.
And related to this, I promised myself to go home more often, every year if I have to. Be it I hate flying, be it I don't like Jakarta, but seeing the joy of my nephews running towards me at the airport upon my arrival and getting the signature warm bear hug from my dad are priceless.

I'm back

I'm still alive. Thank God. What a sucky flight I had. Simply because of the total time I spent flying here. It's disgusting I won't even mention it.
And, no one told me that the immigration will take your picture once you get to the US. Great. I bet my picture looks even scarier than Nick Nolte's mug shot (click here).
Anyway, feel so happy to see my boyfriend. He told me that ever since I left, the Bulls never won a single game. They had 8 straight losing game. And the night before I landed in the morning, the Bulls had their first win in a long time.
Awww... that makes me feel special. :D
Plus! They won again last night. I wouldn't know because I fell asleep. It's just my boyfriend hanging around & told me they won when I woke up later last night.
Another thing that's missing while I was away is the sunshine. They had overcast for over 2 weeks. And guess what, the sun shone yesterday evening and today morning, it's sunny.
Yeah, baby,... I am Matahari.
Hehehe...
I bought so many stuff for my boyfriend, it's like Christmas all over again for him yesterday.
Anyway, it's slavery time again. I will start working tomorrow. I hope I won't fall asleep with my head on the keyboard in the middle of the day. That would be kinda embarrassing.

One sad thing about Jakarta is saying goodbye my family, I couldn't care less about Jakarta, but I do care about my family. I sometimes question myself why I even be here and see them only for 2 1/2 weeks in 3 years if they are the most important people in my life.
I sometimes don't know what to decide.
I told my boyfriend yesterday that I had second thought on staying here in the US after seeing them getting older and older despite my company is willing to sponsor me greencard, unless I can bring them all here, which is kind of too wishful to come true.
Sigh... what a daughter/sister/aunt gotta do?
I wish I know.